Chapter 20

*******
"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God�"

After her run-in with JC, Margot couldn't do anything but run to her room and collapse on her bed.  She had been sobbing quietly to herself for a good fifteen minutes before she said a word.  And now all she could do was repeat the same phrase over and over.

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God�"

He considers me a friend.  A friend.   And he doesn't know anything about me.  Yeah, we talked for hours on the plane, but everything I told him was stupid.  Stupid and completely insignificant.  He deserves a friend who'll tell him everything.  He deserves a friend who will open up to him.  All I'll do is drag him down with me.  He's so wonderful�

"Oh my God�"

Margot sniffled through her tears and attempted to wipe them all away.  She hated crying.  Sure, she did it all the time, but she hated it.  The only thing she hated more than crying was crying in front of other people.  But she hadn't done that in a while.  Not since that horrible day years ago�

Wait� I cried on the plane over here.  But no one saw me.  At least I don't think anyone saw me.  But�didn't JC say hi to me right after I cleaned my face? He saw me crying�

"
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God�"

He saw her crying.  In her mind, seeing someone crying was seeing someone at their worst.  When someone cried, they were letting all of their emotions out; love, sadness, hate, joy, shock, anger, everything.  When someone cried, they were letting their soul speak.  And to Margot, letting her soul speak was the worst thing she could do.

He saw me crying�

"God�"

To Margot's dismay, a fresh batch of tears began rolling down her cheeks and she groaned in disappointment.  Disappointment in herself for allowing someone to see her cry.  Disappointment in herself for allowing someone to
make her cry in the first place.  She was about to start using her new favorite phrase again when she heard a faint knock on her bedroom door.  She ceased all movement and stopped sniffling when she heard the wooden floor creaked underneath the person at her door.  She stared at it, as if she could see through it and waited for the person to go away.  How she wished for the person to go away.

"Margot, please let me in." a muffled voice called to her from the hall.  It didn't sound like the JC she knew, but it was obvious that it had to be him.  She uncurled herself from the ball she was in on her bed and walked to the wood separating her from the rest of the house.  The person must not have heard her move for they knocked again.

"Margot, please."

She was sure now, it was JC.  His voice seemed much clearer, but it didn't hold the same spark it usually did.  She tried to remember exactly how his voice sounded, but the memory disappeared sooner than yesterday.  She leaned against the door and shook her head.

He'd seen her cry.

*******

"Margot, I'm begging you, please open the door." JC pleaded.

After his argument with Justin, he felt no need to say anything else to his young friend and left the room.  Standing outside in the hall, he remembered the quick conversation he'd had with Margot and rushed to her door.  He had to use every drop of willpower inside of him not to push the door open and hold her in his arms when he heard her crying softly.  He waited for fifteen minutes for her sobbing to fade, but when it didn't, he knocked on her door.  The weeping stopped immediately and he heard her walk to the door eventually.  When she didn't open it, he knocked again and saw the door lean slightly under her weight.  His fingertips traced the pattern of the door when he knew she was less than a foot away.

"Margot�" he whispered.

He was about to retreat to his room when the door separated itself from his hand.  He looked up and saw her.  She was looking down at her feet and her hair had delicately fallen in front of her face.  The willpower had to be whipped out again when she looked up at him.  Her eyes were red, her cheeks tear stained, and her bottom lip slightly swollen from what he presumed was her biting it.  She attempted a weak smile but failed miserably.

"Hey JC, what's up?"

He looked at her like she had lost her mind.  Here she was, tears threatening to roll down her face with an obviously fake smile plastered to her face and she was trying to make small talk.  She had to be kidding him.

"Nothing much." He decided not to bring it up right then.

"So, do you want to come in?" she stepped back and gestured for him to enter her domain.  He nodded and stepped into her room.  Her smell rushed into his nose.  Peaches, but even stronger this time.  Coming back to his senses, he sat down on her bed and patted a spot next to him for her to follow suit.  She hesitated for a moment but ended the battle in her mind and took a seat next to him.  She looked around the room, trying to avoid the conversation she was about to have with him.  She didn't know exactly what it would entail, but she knew he was going to get some secrets out of her.  Secrets she wasn't sure she wanted to tell just yet.  Her eyes eventually wandered to his face and when they locked on his, she was startled to find him staring at her.  A long breath escaped through her parted lips when he spoke.

"Why were you crying?"

The breath quickly found its way back into her mouth.  She knew her job of clearing her face of tears wasn't the best, but she didn't know she was
that obvious.  Her head jerked in the direction of a mirror and realized that she was that obvious.

"JC is that what you came here to ask me?"

He studied her face carefully.  It was something he'd wanted to know, but that wasn't the only reason.

"No."

She gasped again.  She'd expected him to say yes.  But that wasn't the only thing that shocked her.  That tone was back in his voice again.  Now that the door wasn't between them, she could see his look to accompany the voice.  She recognized the tone as desperation almost instantly.  That tone of voice had stayed with her since she was young, but why would he have it?  What would make a pop superstar desperate?

"Then just ask me what you want to know.  I'm not the kind of girl to beat around the bush." What she'd just said surprised her even more than it did him.  It was true, she hated people who didn't get to their points fast enough, but telling him what she just had was an open invitation to bring up her past.  Her hand shot up to her neck and she rolled her silver chain against her collarbone.  JC noticed.

"What's that?"

"What's what?" she asked, oblivious to JC's hand inching closer to hers.

"Your chain." Margot jumped at the contact.  He was bringing her hand away from her neck and touching the chain with his other hand.  His fingers lightly brushed her skin in the process making her shiver slightly.  She shuffled away from him and brought her own hand back up to the piece of jewelry.

"It's just what you said, my chain."

He eyed her suspiciously.

"Yes, but what's the significance of a chain with no charms or anything?"

Margot knew this was going to happen.  She knew he was going to ask her some person questions.  What she didn't know was that opening up to him would be one of the hardest things she would ever have to do.

"It has very great significance." She replied quietly.  JC knew he was asking some stuff he probably shouldn't, but he had to know.  Two days.  In two days you could become famous.  In two days, stubble can grow back.  In two days, you could know someone inside and out.  But in the last two days, Margot still remained a mystery to him.  He knew she was a very private person, and he knew she liked to keep some things to herself.  But he didn't know he was definitely hitting home with asking her about the chain.

"I don't doubt that for a second.  I just want to know what the significance is."

She looked down at her feet again.  "I don't know if I can tell you what the significance is."

Shock.  "Of course you can tell me!  I'm your friend!  I care about you!  And as crazy as it sounds, I feel closer to you after two days than I felt after two years with Roxanne."

Confusion.  "Who's Roxanne?"

Anger.  "She's my ex.  She broke up with me the night before I left for California.  Apparently the magic just wasn't there anymore."

Regret.  "Oh, I'm sorry."

Denial.  "No, it's alright.  But what I said was true.  Even though you still have this aura of mystery surrounding you at all times which makes me crazy, I feel like I've known you all my life.  And that really scares me."

Speechlessness.  "Yeah, me too."

Hope.  "Are you saying you feel that way too, or you just agree that it's scary?"

Fear.  "I feel that way about you too."

Joy.  JC took a breath. 
She feels the same way.

Desperation.  "Then if you feel that way too, then why can't you trust me?"

Margot's eyes darted up to meet with JC's.  She could see the desperation behind them.  She hated making him feel this way.  But people had been making her feel that way for so long, she just couldn't help it.

"Because I can't trust anymore."

Hearing her say these words broke JC's heart but she had to be stopped.  He took her hands in his.  She tried to take them back but he held onto her like no tomorrow.

"Yes you can, you can trust me.  I'll never do anything to break your trust.  I'm your friend.  And friends should be there to lean on, not break trust.  You can trust me, Margot"

As much as she wanted to, she couldn't force herself to look away from him.  His eyes were begging her to trust him.  Begging her to open up to him.  And she knew that if she looked into them long enough, she would have no other choice than to do just that.  After a good ten minutes of waiting and staring, her expression softened, her frown disappeared, and her lids fell, covering her emerald eyes.  Margot felt her wall crumbling down as a bead of hot liquid ran down her cheek.  JC reached up and wiped the tear from her face.  When more came, JC pulled on her hands and wrapped his arms around her in a comforting hug.  For the first time in years, she didn't instinctively pull back.

"You can trust me, Margot.  You can trust me."
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