I haven't had the time to update my pages, sorry. I came back today because I realized something that I wanted to share wtih you. I know someone who always said to me, "I would never change, Steph. For no one." Today I chatted with him for awhile since a long time ago. Him and I have been pretty busy lately. I, myself have a boyfriend and is working more hours than I use to. He found the love of his life. Someone who he's willing to change for. Someone who means the world to him. You're probably wondering what has all this made me realize, right? Well, 2 things I realized: one every man in my life has told me similar words, but they have all turned around and acted on their next girl. Now I'm starting to wonder is it something I'm doing wrong or something I'm not doing? Or am I just too vulnerable? Second, it is true when they say, you miss someone or something the most when they are not with you. :-\ As Paul says, "C'est la vie"
End (6:57PM)
Hi, sorry, I haven't been updating my homepages for awhile. I came back today cause I have something really interesting to share with you that happened to me on Tuesday, April 30, 2002.
Well, this is how it all started. I was sitting at my desk at work. It was raining out and the office was really dark. I didn't turn on any of the lights. Suddenly my office became really bright and I'm talking about extreme brightness. I looked over to my window on my left and there in the sky I saw the most beautiful thing in my life. Right there in the blue/gray sky was a big beautiful RAINBOW. I immediately called my sister, put her on speaker phone and then took my boss' digital camera. I tried taking 2 pics through the window, but it didn't come out right. The windows were too dirty. :-P So, I tried to open the window as wide as possible and took a slip shot of it from the side. It came out better than the ones taken through the window, but not that perfect. You'll see for yourself how it looks.
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| THROUGH WINDOW. | OPEN WINDOW. |
So, what do you think of the pics? This is the first time I've seen a rainbow live in my life. I have seen rainbows in puddles, but not one that looked exactly like the way they described in books and cartoons. My mom told me seeing a rainbow live is suppose to symbolize that luck is on the way. I hope that is true. :-)
Since I'm here let me share with you another event. Weekend of April 26, 2002 I had spent it with Mario (my boyfriend), as usual. This time I am noting it here because it was a special day for me. Friday evening, after work, I went straight up to 86th and Lexington to meet with him. We spent 3 hours at Barnes & Nobles Bookstore and half an hour at HMV Record Store. We then headed home to watch some movies and spent the night indoors. Saturday, we spent the afternoon playing Dance Dance Revolution (without the mat). I enjoyed myself a lot. There were a lot of nice slow songs that I was ABLE to dance to! LOL.
Now Saturday evening was more eventful. Mario's Dad dropped us off in the Bronx at his mother's place around 6:00PM. I met his Mom, her boyfriend, and Elias, again. I also met Cianna (*sp*), Mario's little cuz. We spent the night with dinner (corn beef, beans with rice, and salad) and 2 movies. First we saw Rat Race, then Mario and I saw The Musketeers alone.
Now Sunday, I was suppose to head to work. I ended up not going and my excuse was, it was raining hard, I'm in the Bronx stuck with the trains running one way. I had to ride further into the Bronx and then back to Manhattan, then transfer to the 4 train to get to work. I was not going to walk all that in the rain on a Sunday morning at 9:00AM!! So, I called in sick. :-D And I have to say, I'm glad I called in sick. We all spent the day eating pizza, playing Dance Dance Revolution, and just messing around at home. This was a time when Elias and I ganged up to attack Mario. LOL. I am telling, this man is such a kid that he goes around messing with everyone and anyone, especially Elias and me. Why would he choose to pick on us?! Because we are either younger (Elias is 8) or not as strong and has disadvantages held by him (example: BEING TICKLISH!!!). LOL. But we had a lot of fun. We ended up leaving around 6:00PM with trains working again. :-D That weekend was definitely the best time I've had.
End (2:49AM) I spent most of the time trying to edit and post those pics!! Yes, its me, again. I'm sitting here doing my bills tonight and I just realized something really amazing. Well, currently I have SEVEN (7) credit cards active with one of the balances paid off ($200 limit card). I am also financing my computer, paying student loans and a balance on my college tuition, paying my cell phone, home phone, and gas and electricity bills. The total came out to be way over $50K ($50,000).
Scary shit, right?! Well, the good part is that this total is not based on a monthly calculation. The monthly calculation does come out to approximately $1000. Anyway, getting back to my point here. I was curious on how much of a difference there would be if I had eliminated some of those debts. For example paying off all my cards, and loans. Well, excluding all my credit card debts, college tuition, and my computer financing it came out $5,000 less than the grand total, which is still a lot!! Now, I went on and excluded my student loans and I came down to $560. YES, FIVE HUNDRED AND SIXTY DOLLARS!!
With this realization, it hit me hard that a lot of the debts I have now are actually luxury expenses and "lack of education". When I say "lack of education" I'm talking about me being stupid enough to go to college for 4 fuking years and still have not gotten my college degree. Now the consequences are no degree, no high paying job, and a fuking high student loan payback. To make things worse I don't even make $10,000 a year!!!! No wonder its going to take me 25 years to pay off my student loans. Man, boy do I regret not finishing school and fuking up!
Ah, I've learned my lesson. I wanna go back to school, but I don't have the money to go back (as you can see). Well, another lesson to be learned tonight. Now are you going to fuk up like I did?! I hope not. Now get off the fuking net and get some work done! :-P This is where I fuked up 2 years ago, searching online and chatting too much. Well, enough said. Go to bed and be a good boy/girl! Night.
End (2:12AM) Hi, I am back to share some thoughts with you, again. Hopefully, this time around I won't be sharing as much thoughts. Well, connection with the discussion I had with my mom the other day I started part of that conversation with my honey last night. It wasn't exactly any big deal discussion, but it was something interesting to talk about. My mom had told me that she read in the newspaper, or was it heard on the radio station, whichever it was she discovered that Managers of professional sports players make at least $10 million a year. When I heard this I was dumbfounded. She also mentioned that there is one man who made so much that ONE DAY of his salary equals SIX YEARS of an average daily worker!! Average daily worker as in someone like me or you, someone who works a full time job on a base salary.
At this point, I had to argue about how unfair it is to be paying them so much and paying an average daily worker so less. I felt that an Office Manager would think and work more than a Professional Sports Player Manager. I'm not saying they don't do any work, they do. Just that I didn't think it was really worth that much.
Now being a poor debater, of course I lost in this argument. What I didn't take in consideration was that an Office Manager position has a longer career life span than a Professional Sports Player Manager position. I really never thought of it that way. That was when I understood PART of it. :-D I'm the arguing type (if you haven't noticed). I still disagree with the amount they are getting. So many of the professional sports players are making so much that even after they stop playing they will still be able to live off of their savings for years, maybe even decades, before realizing that their savings is running out, if possible!
A very good example is the discussion I had with my honey. Michael Jordan*, is a well known basketball player, who is so successful in his career that he is working with other brand name companies and (as I heard) bought his own basketball team. Jordan also works to advertise the Wheaties Cereal, NIKES, and even has his own line of sneakers.
I agree with the fact that if you choose a career path that you are fond of and can be successful in, that anyone can make a lot of money. But don't you think the balance between an average daily worker and a professional sports player is a little off?! Sigh... there are so many arguing points to this discussion that I think it would take hours to discuss. The only problem is I won't be the winning side here. LOL.
So, if anyone of you have anything to say in regards to my discussion with my mom and my honey or just your own opinion on this topic, please feel free to make comments in my G-spot. I will gladly post them up and share with all of you. And feel free to disagree with me because I sure don't know much about sports. :-P Maybe from the feedback I get from you guys I can learn something new. Thanks for dropping by and come back for other thoughts.
*Note: I do not know much about him nor do I have anything against this man. These are only my opinions and thoughts
End (3:29PM) Hi, I just started these webpages on geocities a couple of days ago. I'm new at this HTML stuff, but I know enough to create a decent page for you to look at. I hope you guys like the way it looks and feel. Well, I got this idea from a friend of mine. His girlfriend would write all her journals online. I'm not too happy about showing all my personal feelings online to have just anyone look at it. I do like the idea of sharing certain happenings and thoughts online, though. I have created quite some pages in the past. I've used AOL Hometown, Homestead.com, and Netscape. Awhile back Netscape's pages were taken over by Webpages.com so I lost all those pages that I have created under that alias. The Homestead.com pages were created through my Juno account. For some reason, those were gone, too. I am very disappointed. I made some nice pages and put up pictures for my online friends to see. Ah well, I have given up on posting pictures. I may have given up on my picture postings, but I sure will not give up my pages.
The first page I created is my
April 18, 2002 (1:51AM)
April 14, 2002 (2:48PM)
April 12, 2002 (1:44AM)
The second page I created is my
Anyway, the main reason I created this specific page tonight is because I just got off the phone with my honey and I'm a little upset. I am beginning to loosen up a bit, but I still feel that tension in me. Still have the urge to blurt all my feelings out and let the world know how I feel. :0P
In order to tell you what happened, first, I need to explain a couple of things. I am a night owl. I sleep day and walk nights. Once upon a time, my schedule got to the point of sleeping from 9AM till 1PM, worked from 3PM till 7PM, and stayed up till 6AM/9AM the next morning. That was when I was living alone in Manhattan. Now I am staying with my Mom and Sister in Brooklyn and my schedule have gotten a little more decent. I still do not sleep very early and my honey knows this. He tries to change my habits, so that I can work day and sleep nights. Nowadays, I try to sleep 2AM the latest. My he demands that I sleep earlier than that.
Well, tonight, I returned home at 11:30PM and just missed my honey's call. He calls me every night. Once I got home, my Mom and I started a very productive and interesting discussion that lasted till the time he called me, again. At this moment, the time is 12:15AM. Now, my honey being the playful type questioned me on why I was not in bed yet, claiming that he had demanded me to go to bed before 1AM. Me, also being the playful type responded in a different way. Instead of being my usual shy and cute little one, I presented myself as the firm and demanding little rebel. We ended up in a disagreement, that developed into an upset argument. I ended up hanging up on him...
At this point, I was upset and tired. I needed to be in bed and relax. But being the rebel me tonight, I stayed up and started on this page. :0P Right now, I am so tired and sad. I started a pleasant day and turned it into an unpleasant and sad day. I ruined a chance at a good conversation with my honey and to top it off, I might not hear from him tomorrow. Normally, Fridays to Saturdays I spend my night and day with him. Now, I might not spend the weekend with my honey. A very sad thought. And I was looking forward to it, too. :0(
Tonight, I learned a lesson... "don't push too hard to try to get your way, it will only result in an unpleasant day." That's a lesson to be learned. Well, I am really tired now. I will now head to bed. G'night all.
End (2:29AM)
