1. Compliment her
2. Cuddle her
3. Kiss her
4. Caress her
5. Love her
6. Stroke her
7. Tease her
8. Comfort her
9. Protect her
10. Hug her
11. Hold her
12. Spend money on her
13. Wine & dine her
14. Buy things for her
15. Listen to her
16. Care for her
17. Stand by her
18. Support her
19. Go to the ends of the Earth with her
Ways To Impress A Man
1. Show up naked. a) bring beer
* I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
* Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
* Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
* Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.
* I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a cop.
* I was going to be a cop, but then I decided to finish high school.
* You're not going to check the trunk are you?
* Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on COPS last night?
* Is it true that people became cops because they were too dumb to work at McDonalds?
* I pay your salary.
* Gee officer that's great. That last officer only gave me a warning.
* Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us knows.
* I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there aren't any cars around, thats how far they are ahead of me.
* Is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.
* Well when I reached down to get my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got stuck in between the brake and gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
You know if a girl is a blonde if...
-She called me to find out my number.
-She spend 20 mins. looking at an orange juice box because it said "concentrate."
-She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
-She got stabbed in a shoot-out.
-She told me to meet her at the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk."
-She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order
-She sat on the TV to watch the couch.
-She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
-She tried to drown a fish.
-She thought a quarterback was a refund.
-She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
-Under "education" on her job application she put, "Hooked on Phonics."
-She tripped over a cordless phone.
-She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
-When she heard that 90% of all crimes happen at home, she packed up and moved.
-When she miss buss 44, she took bus 22 twice.
-When she takes you to the airport and she sees the sign, "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.
