Part 45
As KearBear sobbed, KelNino came up with an awesome idea. "Hey, Kearbear! Come here!" she said loudly. KearBear walked over and picked a hair off of KearBear's shirt. "Would this be Flash's hair?" she asked. KearBear blushed as KelNino revealed her plan. "You see, I figured that that was where KearBear had been, and when I saw the hair on her shirt, I thought it didn't look like hers! So now, we just put this hair in the pouch of the voodoo doll (taking Robin's out of course) and then somehow make him come back to us! Sound good, guys?" Back to silverchair stuff
"Yeah! That sounds good! But we don't know where he is! How are we going to get him to move in those ways(in order to get him where we are) if we can't see him?!" KearBear questioned.
"Ah hah!" KelNino jumped in again. "Another part of my genius plan. Now, I've never done this before, KearBear, but you are closest to Flash (other than Saurus and Redwing, but we don't know where they went for the moment), so you're going to be my guinea pig! Okay?"
"Um...." KearBear started as she backed away.
"Sure you are! Okay, just come right over here..."
KelNino and the others dragged KearBear to a spot on the ground and then all started to chant something in some odd language. All of the sudden, KearBear went unconscious and her eyes became like projectors. Shayde pulled down one of those white projector screens, and an image appeared. It was an image of the area where Flash was - as seen through his eyes. KelNino began working the voodoo doll, making Flash move. Since this was not of Flash's own will, he was much stronger than he normally would be, and he randomly walked through walls without getting a scratch. Soon they had him back into their own little area and they were about to wake up Kearbear. When they were just going to wake her up, James gave birth to another puppy!
"Oh no...not again...I thought we got rid of those puppies when Boyz II Men stepped on them!" Ben whined. James picked up the hairless puppy and began breastfeeding it (James has manboobs, I guess). The pioneers turned away in disgust as KelNino shook Kearbear awake.
Meanwhile Daniel was poking at James' puppy and squeaking "Kooochi-koochi-koo!" at it in a baby voice.
"Don't touch that, Daniel!." Scars pulled Daniel's bony hands away from James' puppy.
"Why, Scars? What's wrong with my puppy?" James whimpered, shielding it with his windbreaker.
Ada peered around the windbreaker at the puppy and cringed. "Well..." she said carefully. "It's kind of...well, what we would describe as-"
"It's ugly," Robin interrupted.
"My puppy is not ugly!" James cried. "He is beautiful!" He pulled back the windbreaker and tickled it. The puppy squirmed happily and nuzzled back into the jacket.
"Sure, you freaking wanker," Robin sneered. "Any puppy that comes out of your arse is as ugly as an undigested banana!"
"Uh huh...undigested bananas...right," James said absently as he cradled the puppy.
"Hey guys, stop fighting over the puppy that looks like an ass!" KelNino yelled. "We should be doing something!"
"Well, what?" Shayde asked.
"Well, getting back to that message from Timmy, for one thing! dreamer, do you remember any other details about that coma-like vision thing you had that got us here?"
"Well," she said, biting her lip, "There *was*..."
Suddenly, Junta screamed, "Ahhhhhh, it's mine, Scars! My fries!" All the pioneers turned around to see Junta and Scars fighting for some french fries they were making.
"No, I had the bag first!" Scars yelled back, laughing. They began pulling on the bag that had the fries in it when it burst, sending the fries flying everywhere and on everyone.
"Ahhh, fries, no!" screamed Robin.
"Look what you did! My fries, mine mine mine!" Junta said, grabbing Scars' ripped Blue jeans, making her fall.
"Ouch!" Scars looked up with watery eyes to Junta, who was greedily scarfing down all of the fries. The other pioneers had been watching the fight and saw Junta eating the fries, and Scars on the ground. They each hurried to help Scars while noticing that Junta was turning kind of purple and began to float high above the ground. Robin shrugged, picked up a rock, and did a really girly throw towards her.
"Ha ha! You totally missed her!" KearBear laughed.
"Hey, shut up. You try it," Robin pouted.
KearBear bent down, picked up a rock, and threw it lightly at Junta. The rock soared at the rising Junta and popped her in the foot. She sunk lightly down to the ground.
"Dude!" KelNino observed, "You're not useless! You saved my sista!"
"Rrrriiiiiigggggggghhhhhhhhtttttttt..." Daniel said.
All of a sudden, Lee walked up to the group! "Dooookkkiiieeee...." KelNino said.
"Dookie." Lee laughed back. He looked down at the pile of fries. "Hey, Kelly, I'll give you 50 cents for every one of those fries you eat!"
"You got a deal!" KelNino grabbed a handful of fries, counted them, and shoved them in her mouth. "Okay, you owe me $4.50, Lee!" She held out her hand, expecting her pay-up.
"I ain't gonna pay you! Haha!" Lee laughed.
"You red neck, racist bigot! Give me my money!" KelNino ordered.
"Fat chance!" Lee walked away, leaving Kelnino very angry indeed.
"Okaaay...back to that vision..." Kearbear said. "What the hell are we supposed to do with ourselves?"
"Well.." dreamer began. "I want to tell you, but if I get one more interruption, I'm going to - "
"I still want my fries!" Junta screamed, cutting dreamer off.
"No, don't rip my pants again!" cried �cars, lifting the plate of fries in the air. Junta began grinning as she walked towards the plate.
"No! They have animal fat!" Daniel interrupted. "Wahhhh!"
"Shut up you freak. You should eat some of that meat so you can get some fat on that skinny ass of yours!" Lee called as he walked back up. He was carrying all his hunting equipment. "Here. Want me to catch you something?"
Daniel flipped out and started to quiver. "No...no...animals...no eating...no hunting...WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" dreamer sighed and handed him another tissue.
Lee started to laugh hysterically and said, "What a baby. He's such a wanker."
"Yeah Lee, you da master!" Junta said.
Lee looked up at her with fire in his eyes. He lunged toward Junta screaming, "You called me 'master'??????????"
KelNino and KearBear laughed at Junta running as fast as she could from the infuriated Lee.
"Why can't they call him bloody master?" Robin asked.
"Duh! His last name is Bates..." KearBear said.
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" yelled everyone around them. Meanwhile, Shayde was busy boarding a shuttle.
"Hey, where're you going?" KelNino asked.
"To go pee," she answered.
"Uh...why?" Kearbear asked.
"Because the pipes here broke," Shayde said.
"Ooooohhhhhhhh..." KelNino nodded. "I hate it when that happens!" KelNino joined Shayde on the bus and they went to pee at the nearest muffin stand. Everyone decided to join on the pee break and jumped into the shuttle bus.
"Faster, Jimmy! I have to pee!" Shayde said once everyone was on the bus.
James stepped on the pedal of the giant smelly bus. There was no movement, but the scenery around changed drastically, until our heroes were shrouded in dense jungle. "Oh yeah! Sorry, guys, I forgot this bus works primarily as a time machine!"
"So what bloody time period are we in?" asked Robin.
"Well this says here it's somewhere between the Jurassic and Cretaceous period."
"But they didn't have potties back then!" wailed Shayde.
"Aaaah, the beauty of being able to pee anywhere," said a voice from the back of the bus. Shayde ran out of the bus and looked behind the bus, where she found the Karate Kid!
"You again!" KelNino yelled as she explained to Shayde their encounter back in KearBear's house.
"Yup! It's me! How I got here with you, I don't know. But I am here! So, what are we doing?" he asked.
"Weeeeeee?" Robin inquired. "*We*? I don't think so, Mr. I'm-hot-in-my-karate-belt." Daniel hit him at the thought. "I think that you should get back on that bus and leave!"
"Fine!" Karate Kid pouted.
Karate Kid got back on the bus with James and it disappeared suddenly. Robin smiled as if he'd gotten rid of the biggest, baddest, most evil thing alive. The rest of the group stared in awe. "What?" Robin asked. "I did you all a bloody favor!"
"Robin, the bus left us! You ass! We are stuck here WITHOUT BATHROOMS!" Shayde screamed, infuriated.
"Ohhhhhhhh...so why don't we get a taxi cab?" Robin exclaimed.
"Um...Robin, there are no taxi cabs-" But before Kearbear could finish, Robin was waving his hand in the air and calling for a taxi. To everyone's surprise, a vehicle arrived. They all crowded in and told the driver to take them to the nearest ice cream parlor.
"Yeah - sure." The taxi driver turned around the the wheel and seemed irritated. "Well, 'ye gunna help 'er not, kids?"
"What do you mean?" Kelnino asked.
"Ya got to push theh car." The taxi driver pointed down and the pioneers saw that the vehicle didn't have a floor.
"Oooh! Like the Flintstones, oh jolly fun!" Daniel clapped his hands together. The pioneers stamped their feet and soon the taxi was flying down the road at 15 miles per hour. However, the missed the turn off to the ice cream parlor (due to their great speed) and ended up making a stop at the gas station! KelNino looked eagerly out the window to look for her friends when she saw them pumping gas into another car. She quickly jumped out the window and ran to them.
"Hey guys!!!" KelNino screamed.
"Hey, KelNino. What's goin on y'all?" They asked.
"Nothing...meet the crew. Daniel, Robin, dreamer, Junta, Ada, Scars, Redwing, Flash, Shayde, James, Saurus, KearBea-" KelNino started.
"KearBear????" they shouted.
"Yeah...what's wrong with KearBear?" Flash asked, pushing to the front of the crowd.
"Yah! What about the AKA, KelNino?? What's w/ you befriending her? Huh???" one on the right said.
"Ohhhh...that. Right. Well, KearBear's not all that-" KelNino said before another gas station worker lunged out toward KearBear, now hiding behind Ben and Flash.
"She brainwashed KelNino! She brainwashed KelNino!" they chanted as they circled the two people guarding KearBear. KelNino tried to calm them down, but her friend, Chance, had picked up a box of french fries and was chucking them at her head.
"Ha!" Chance shouted as he launched a fry at Kelnino, who was trying to shield herself. "Now you know how I feel, damnit! Ha! Aha!" He threw several more fries before KelNino pulled on his hair and threw his hat on top of a vending machine.
Meanwhile, Kearbear was busy trying to outdo KelNino's other friends in a spelling tournament.
"Okay, next word..." Daniel ran his finger down the page of a porno magazine. "The next word is...mas-mast...uh...mast..."
"Oh, let me get that!" Shayde snatched up the magazine with frustraion because Daniel couldn't pronounce the word. "The next word is 'fornication'!" she told the spelling tournament participants.
"How do you spell that?" Daniel asked.
Shayla replied "F-O-R-N-I-"
"Shut up, Shayla! You can't spell the word!" Kearbear cried.
"Why not?" Daniel asked.
"Because this is a spelling contest! We have to try to spell it first!" Kearbear replied.
"Ohhhh...now I get it!" Shayla exclaimed. "Okay, the next word can be-"
"No, let's do something else!" one of Kelnino's friends shouted. "Weren't we gonna kill Kearbear or something?"
"No, that would be messy..." Gina, another friend, gently said.
"Can't be any worse than ketchup...CHANCE." Sean(another friend) said in his direction.
"Huh?" Chance looked up from his desperate attempt to get his hat off the vending machine. "Hey, can you help me out or something?" he asked, pointing to the hat. Junta used her telekinetic powers to get it down.
Out of the blue, Ada exclaimed, "Hey, you guys, I think something's wrong!"
"Like what?" Scars asked.
"I don't know...but I think it's got something to do w- hey!" Her head jerked up. "Where's dreamer?"
"I don't know, I thought she'd be with that boyfriend of hers," Robin said.
"But I'm right here," Saurus said, "and she isn't. And she wouldn't just take off like this."