Part 38
"Well, thanks, guys. That was really nice of you. We greatly appreciate it," answered KelNino politely. Back to silverchair stuff
"Yeah, your grill is so wicked cool yo!" Kearbear exclaimed as she stumbled off Flash's back, tried to walk a few steps, then fell back into his arms.
"KearBear, go take an Advil and lie down for heaven's sake!" KelNino finally screamed.
Flash carried KearBear back into the bedroom where he laid her down. She smiled and murmured 'thankyou'. He sat down in the chair next to the bed. "What are you doing? Why don't you go hang out with the other pioneers?" she asked him.
"I don't know, you're better company I guess," said Flash.
KearBear started blushing furiously when the other pioneers came in. "Hey!" said KelNino enthusiastically, "You coming around there, KearBear?"
"Yeah, I'm feeling pretty good," Kearbear said as she strained to get up. Flash came to her side at once and put his arm around her, in order to help her back to the main room.
"Okay, well, they have some pretty odd food here, guys. Did you bring anything with you?" Junta asked hungrily.
"Yeah! I brought some pork rinds..." Scars held up a bag of the tasty Southern treat.
Daniel snatched it away screaming "Killer!' and threw it out the window.
Scars' hand was still in the air. "Well, so much for that...guess we'll have to eat their food." They marched into the street-gang's kitchen and sat down for a meal of spinach-ey looking stuff. It was disgusting, but they were hungry. The captain of the street gang started a conversation with Flash. "You guys from around here?"
"I am, they're not." Flash answered. "What's your name? For real?"
"Connor, for real. Connor Macleod of the clan Macleod."
"And you can never die, I know, I know. I batch of bloody rubbish if you ask me..." Robin swayed dangerously before Kelnino held him up.
"No, I added that on for kicks." Connor said, smiling for the first time. "So who are you?"
"I'm Flash..." Flash introduced himself and all the other pioneers.
"Say!" Connor exclaimed. "You're the Commander's slave, aren't you?"
"Uhh...no?" Flash blushed.
"Yes you are! There's a buttload of money on your head, boy!"
"Sucks for the man who tries to turn me in...he'll be dead before I let him get that money!"
"Whoa! Whoa! I ain't turning you in! I sent Joey out a half hour ago to do it! Hahahaha!" Connor laughed.
"You bastard!" Flash jumped up and his collar fell down, showing his brand again. "Come on everyone, we got to get out of here!"
"Oh no you ain't!" Connor laughed. A bunch of nasty kung-fu sea turles jumped out from the refrigerator and began slapping the pioneers with their slimy turtle fins! However, Ada soon put a stop to this. With the help of her magical rainbow pony Sky Dancer, she zapped them into a state of numbness. At this point, Daniel and Robin suddenly began to come to.
"Bloody hell! You killed the turtles bitch!" screamed Robin.
Scars slapped him. "No you ninny, the turtles are merely stunned for now until we can return them to the sea where they belong. As for you..." She pointed at Connor. "You must bathe in a sea of chocolate pudding and let the stunned turtles ride on your back while you do it."
"Aaaaaahhhh not chocolate!" screamed Daniel, hiding behind Robin in fear.
"Yes! Chocolate!" Ada yelled, pointing her finger to a large pot of chocolate that somehow had appeared in the basement. Connor shrunk down and sulked over to the chocolate. He turned at the last minute to ask a final question, "Must I? I don't suppose I could persuade you to set me free. I mean, I could help you. I don't really need that boy's head all that bad..."
KelNino, getting annoyed had his blabbering, pushed him into the chocolate with a mere touch, "That oughta do it. Where to from here, guys?"
"Well, we have to get out of here!" Flash announced. "Or they'll be here to catch me!"
"Come on, Flash. What's one slave to them, eh? The Commander dude can't want you back THAT bad. I mean, you're not THAT wonderful...er, you know what I mean." Kearbear stutttered over her drunkenness.
"Not if you're the commander's personal confidant and can hack into any of his files! Come on, we got to move!" Flash answered. He rallied everybody out the door, where they were met by another huge force of sea turtles. At the head stood a very large, mean looking fellow with an eyepatch and green uniform on. "Damn, too late..." Flash muttered.
"Aaaah! I see you're doing well, Mr. Anderson!" the mean-looking fellow cackled at Flash.
Kearbear turned to Flash and whispered "He knows you?"
"That's the commander," Flash said, loud enough for everyone to hear.
"And he's missed his rebellious slave very much," the Commander mocked.
Flash whispered to Kearbear, "On my signal, tail it and run for your lives. Tell the others."
Kearbear quickly passed the message around the group before asking Flash, "Uh...what's the signal?"
"You'll know it when you hear it," Flash muttered.
Meanwhile, the Commander was eyeing them. "So these are your friends, eh? Let's have a look at them." He started to move forward.
"RUN!!!!!!!!!" Flash screamed. He turned and ran, the bathroom pioneers following. Ada brought up the rear on her pony and fought the sea turtles off. Soon, they rushed into a rollarcoaster station, where it was safe.
"Bloody wanking chimney sweep boy!' Robin exclaimed. "Why the hell did we run like little sissy wankers?"
"Because..." Flash panted, "We're not strong enough for him, that's why. Trust me, I would kno-"
"Yes, children! He would know," an evil voice said. The group turned to see the Commander standing in a rather evil way at the base of the stairs. Flash looked around for an escape, but the Commander was already attacking him. They punched and jabbed for several minutes, even resorting to girl slaps at one point. Soon, the Commander had Flash in a head lock as a large rollercoaster seat rolled perilously towards them. "You hear that, Mr. Anderson?" The Commander cackled as Flash struggled, spitting out blood. "That's the sound of inevitability. It's the sound of your death." The car approaced faster and faster as the pioneers watched in horror. Robin whipped out a tub of popcorn.
Flash gasped for breath, and managed to utter, "My name is Flash...you asshole." Flash jabbed the Commander in the stomach and flipped back. The rollercoaster car flew past, slamming the Commander broadside and hitting Flash's head. Flash was thrown across the station against the opposite wall. He lay there, bleeding.
Kearbear ran forward and held him. "Oh no! He's not breathing!"
"Bloody hell! Stop eating my popcorn, Daniel!" Robin yanked away the tub.
Kearbear wiped blood off of Flash's cheek as a tear dripped down her shirt. "You can't die, Flash. My mom...she told me I would fall in love with the chosen one....so you can't be dead Flash, because I love you..."
"Hey wait!" Ada spoke up. "*I'm* the chosen one!"
"#$@% off!" Kearbear shrieked. As she screamed, Flash took a deep breath and opened his eyes. He looked into Kearbear's face and the locked in a sensual munchkin hug. The group's celebration was cut short, however, because they had to finish off the Commander.
"Ada, can't you vaporize him like you did with all those pop stars?" dreamer asked.
"I don't know if I can do it myself," she said.
"We'll help you," said Sky.
The pioneers all joined hands, focusing their energy on the Commander. Sure enough, Ada blew him to bits.
"Now let's get out of here before something else happens," dreamer insisted. "Redwing, can you open up a portal to someplace where we can hide out?"
"Sure, why not?" Redwing replied with a shrug of the shoulders. He opened up a portal and the group stepped through one by one.
"So, where are we going this time, Redwing?" asked KearBear, who was almost back to her old self.
"Well, if I did this right this time - with my mad skill - then we should be back at KelNino's card board box on the side of the interstate. That okay with you, Kel?" he said.
"Sure, why not," she muttered, "but first, does anyone think that we should stay in Hell for a while and banish all the bad guys and stuff? Come on, there's got to be some pretty important stuff in here that we could get a hold of."
"Um, KelNino, I don't think that would be such a brilliant idea. I mean, I'm sure there are still people looking for Flash. He's kinda easy to pick out of a crowd ya know..." KearBear stated slowly, so KelNino would get the most of it.
KelNino nodded slowly as she stepped through the portal. When they came out they realized that they were not at KelNino's house. "Damnit, Redwing! You suck at this!" Daniel screamed.
"Yeah, get a job you bloody wanker," Robin agreed.
"Hey, you know what? Screw you, cockroach," Redwing yelled back.
"Have to find your dick first, chubby," Robin snickered.
"Guys! Shut up! Where the #%!$ are we??!!??" Ada asked.
The pioneers all looked around. Flash gasped. "This is my commander's office! How in hell (literally) did we get here??"
"I don't know, but this is pretty cool. You said you could hack into his files, right?" KearBear asked, thinking logically.
"Well, yeah, I guess so. So what do I do? Just go and look for anything? Or is there something specific that you want to find?" he asked, less enthusiastic about everything.
"Okay guys! Let's get started!" KelNino ordered.