Part 28
When Sweep was fluffy dry, Redwing opened up a wormhole to his time and the bathroom pioneers filed through. Back to silverchair stuff
"Wait! I forgot my sweater!" cried fireangel, who turned around to get it. The pioneers tried with all their might to hold her back but she somehow struggled out of their grips and out of the wormhole. The pioneers stepped out of the wormhole and saw that they were on the stage of some sort of concert.
"Who's that funny-looking singer with the spiky hair?" Ben asked, puzzled.
"That's Morgan Lander, you doofus," KelNino informed him.
"We're at a Kittie show? Cooooool!" dreamer squealed.
"Well, we know *where* we are, so *when* are we?" rockstar asked.
"Well, Morgan hasn't bleached her hair yet, so it's late 1999 or early 2000, I guess," Ada reasoned.
Heath noticed his brother wasn't being his usual goofy self. "Daniel?...Daniel? Are you okay, dude?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm fine." Yet he did not break his gaze at something on the stage.
"You sure?"
"$#%@ off, Heath!"
"Oooooh, you like her!" squealed Ben in a sing-song voice.
"No I don't!" Daniel turned ten shades of red.
"I'm gonna tell her!" laughed Chris.
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"No, no, no - if you tell her then...then, I'll kick your ass!" Daniel yelped in a panic.
Ben and Chris started to run in Morgan's direction to harass their bandmate, but Ash grabbed them both by the ears.
"You two act like you're still in 6th grade!" she said, throwing them in the opposite direction from Morgan.
"Go talk to her!" said Ada, pushing Daniel in towards the center stage where Morgan was belting out the powerful lyrics of "Charlotte."
"But...I can't," he protested as he pushed back. "They're in the middle of their set!"
"So?" Chris asked as he and Ben shoved Daniel out onto the stage next to Morgan.
The concert came to a stop for several seconds before Daniel got back up on his feet, leaned into the microphone, and picked up where Morgan left off. She and the other members joined back in as though restarting a tape.
dreamer squealed. "How cool is this? We're all witnessing rock history!"
"This is an amazing experience," Saurus concurred, caressing her arm.
As the song ended, Morgan announced, "That was our last song, kids. Let's hear it for Daniel Johns!" The screaming grew louder, drowning her out.
A few minutes later, as everyone was chilling backstage, KelNino ran out on the stage and started to sing some of her songs from her band Yo Mama. During her performance, Ada had a premonition.
"Uh-oh, guys. Something's up. There is a negative force in this building."
But it was too late. Before Ada had finished her sentence, SHE was standing before them. She. The Demon. The Evil Hippo. The one that is known as Natalie.
"Daniel...how could you leave me for that slut?! She's evil. You could have me instead. I'll take you back, despite this incident. Come with me, Daniel."
At this, Morgan flipped out. "Ha, for once Danny-boy has found someone that truly makes him happy and YOU come to try to take it away from him. What a selfish bitch you are!" She leapt at her rival.
"Wait!" screamed Natalie. "Let me put on my cargos! This leather bit just isn't doing me justice."
While Natalie changed, the group continued to converse.
"I'm sorry, chosen ones, but this isn't the place I had meant to travel to. I wanted to take you to my time." Redwing explained. "I'm afraid we were hooked by a parapholix in the wormhole."
"A para-what?" asked Heath.
"A parapholix. They act as hooks as you travel. I've never been caught by one before, but they centralize your heart signal and draw you into a different tunnel. Rather than translating into the destination you intended, you end up in a seemingly random time and place," explained Redwing.
"So-uh. Kinda like, when you're going through the wormhole, it nabs you and drops you off at the post office instead of the silverchair concert?" Shayla summarized.
"Yes, I suppose," Redwing seemed confused. "Whatever is a post office?"
"ENOUGH CHIT-CHAT, CHILDREN! YOU'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! BWAHAHA!"
The group turned around upon hearing the wicked voice and saw Natalie, dressed from head to toe in red velvet and steel armor (and a delicate princess tiara sitting upon her head). She hadn't gone to change into her cargo pants, she had dressed for her victory!
"You've got to be kidding me...hahaha..." Daniel laughed.
"DO I LOOK LIKE I'M JOKING?!"
"You look like a wanking idiot...haha...look! ha! l-look at-hahaha" Daniel fell over laughing.
"STOP LAUGHING AT ME! I'M GOING TO HURT YOU REALLY BAD!" Natalie stomped her foot angrily and tossed back her hair. "STOP THAT!" Daniel was gasping for breath through his tears of laughter. "STOOOOOPPP! SHUT UP!" Natalie began jumping and down as she screamed. Smoke billowed out of her ears and her eyes glowed angrily. "AAAAAAARRRGH!" Suddenly, Natalie's head blew up, sending slimy, fried tissues all about.
Morgan, surprised but pleased, grabbed Daniel and started to waltz about the stage. Robin whipped out his guitar and managed to play something that was remotely distinguishable as music, so the rest of the group grabbed a partner and joined in the old-time fun. dreamer helped Saurus learn his steps, KelNino and Redwing glided across the floor, and Ada and John got a bit carried away (if you know what I mean, hee hee) "Now you two stop that," said Shayla with a smile. Then Rob snuck up behind her.
"Hello, love!" he said. And with that Shayla and Rob were also dancing happily with everyone else. But all was not right. While the group was dancing, Natalie was piecing her head back together.
"Natalies can't die...Natalies *can* go back to the evil abysmal slimehole they came from!" And with that, Effie appeared and threw Natalie into the wormhole she had just appeared from. She wiped her hands, muttering "Damn Natalies. Damn them all. But especially that one. Narf."
Effie looked up and saw a whole bunch of people she didn't know staring at her. "Uh...hi?" She gave a shaky smile. Effie really got nervous around strangers.
"Hey wait. That's Johnsy. And there's Heath, and Ben, and Sam, and dude that's Kittie! Whoa...note to self, Effie now likes hooks in the wormholes. Screw sliding to a concert - I think I want to be here," she thought.
"I'm Effie," she introduced herself.
"Hey there, Effie. Here's my number..." Heath handed Effie a slip of paper and winked. Effie glanced at the sheet.
"Hey! This is Jenny Craig's number!" She turned around to slap Heath, but the immature little prick had already made a dash for safety.
"Don't mind that little wanker," Daniel said.
"Yeah, nobody really likes him anyway..." Ben agreed. Effie nodded. She certainly wanted in on this crew...but who in the hell was that skinny brunette fellow in the corner?
As if to read her mind, Robin stepped forward. "Allo! I'm Robin. I'm quite desperate, you see. Being all out of bananas and such. If I paid you enough, would you be willing to s-"
"Robin!" KelNino slapped her hand over his mouth. "Hehe, that's Robin for yah! Hey, I'm KelNino." She held out her other hand and shook Effie's. "You looking for a slot in the bathroom pioneer's posse?"
Effie nodded politely. "Well, I suppose. The Down With the Rainforest Society wouldn't accept me-"
"Those bastards!" Daniel shrieked.
Effie continued despite Daniel's outburst. "You wouldn't mind if I tagged along, wouldcha?"
"'Course not!" dreamer said enthusiastically. "I'll introduce you to the crew. That's Daniel, Ben, and Chris, from silverchair of course. I'm dreamer. That's Ada the Chosen One. KelNino you know...she's the reincarnated soul of Kurt Cobain. You've met (clearing throat) Robin. Daniel's twin, Nathaniel, is a real nice fellow. There's Junta, fireangel, and Ash. Enter Steve. The dudes in red are Ryban, Redwing, and," she grinned, "Saurus. Oh yeah, and we can't forget Sweep."
"Pleasure." Effie was overwhelmed by the very large group. "So uh, what do you guys do, exactly?"
"Oh, you know, save the world from pop and scallies." Kelnino replied nonchalantly.
"Oh, uh...ok." Effie stuttered.
"Aw, don't worry about it. You may wonder what the hell you're getting yourself into...don't bother. You couldn't imagine," KelNino assured her. The bathroom pioneers laughed. Effie fit well into the group, but bonded even more so with Nathaniel. Nathaniel's polite, calm manner appealed to her and they were soon considered a pair.