Part 14
While they were in the bathroom, Redwing went on telling about the Bathroom Pioneers. Back to silverchair stuff
"My fellow NBPs, these people standing before you are the reason we exist. They have encouraged us and we will forever look to them and their teachings to help us complete our mission. These are the original Bathroom Pioneers, yes, the ORIGINAL BATHROOM PIONEERS from the year 2000." With that, applause broke out. Somewhere in the room a flugelhorn was blown.
"What the..." said fireangel.
"Aw cool! A flugelhorn! I haven't seen one of these in a really long time!" said John as he ran to admire the odd-looking instrument. Ada stood watching him, laughing hysterically as John took the flugelhorn and began to attempt to play "Dancing Queen" on it. Just then she had an idea.
"This may actually prove to be useful. My dad used to talk about flugelhorns a lot. They're very loud instruments, and if we had enough of them..."
"We could knock down all the banana trees in Brazil and get free bananas!" cut in Robin.
dreamer shook her head at him. "No, no. I think I know what Ada may be pondering. We could use the flugelhorns to drown out the music at a pop concert. Then we could ambush whomever is on stage! Say, when is Boyz II Men having their next show?" She turned to Redwing.
"Next Saturday...I believe, right Saurus?" Redwing answered. But Saurus was too busy staring at dreamer, who returned the gaze.
"Er, what?" Saurus broke from his daydream.
Redwing sighed. "Nevermind you, Saurus. Yes, they play Saturday, I'm sure of it. Down at the temporary stage near Water-Waves. I think they're touring with Toni Braxton as well. 'Twill be a relief to get her out of the way if we can." KelNino was in awe of his perfectly articulated English. Redwing continued. "Well, it is growing late in the evening. I suppose I should show you to the guest rooms. I'm afraid this bathroom just isn't large enough to hold everyone. Apologies."
"You've got to be kidding!" Shayla announced, pointing to her watch. "What kinds of squares are you? It's only eleven o'clock! Damn, I can't go to sleep until I have a shot of alcohol around three."
"I'd have to agree, Redwing. It is early for us to be sleeping. Do you mind?" KelNino tried to smooth over Shayla's announcment.
"Oh yes. I'm sorry," Redwing apologized, "I just thought you'd all be tired. Seeing as though you are paleo-human and all."
"Er, what?" Robin looked confused.
"Oh, uh, paleo-human. A term we use for humans before they were perfected and bred selectively by the pop forces. I thought you'd be, uh, less, er, adaptable or, uh, I guess weaker than the post-Britney humanoids."
"Like you?" KelNino was obviously annoyed because her eyes were flashing angrily. Ada looked pissed too as she stepped up beside KelNino. Redwing nodded slowly while Ryban twitched nervously.
KelNino smiled. "Say, are any of you up for a good challenge - a match of sorts? I'm afraid I am. I believe Ada would like a little spat as well."
Redwing glanced over at Ryban and Saurus and grinned slightly. They nodded their heads excitedly.
"Well, okay. A friendly match, of course?"
"Yep, just for kicks. Ever heard of the WWF Smackdown?"
Redwing looked confused. "Smackdown?"
"Oh, forget it. Some stupid thing. Where shall we begin?"
Redwing led the group down some dark hallways until they walked into an open gym-like room. KelNino glanced around. "Okay, let's get it on! Wickedeebo!" Robin chanted.
Redwing and Saurus took their corners as well as KelNino and Ada. The match began. KelNino blocked Saurus as he charged at Ada, flipping him over. Ada gave him a good blast that sent him 20 feet across the mat. Meanwhile, Redwing and KelNino were engaged in a one-on-one. They lunged, blocked, stabbed, blocked again, ducked, leaned, and jumped around eachother. Sweat dripped from them both. Saurus struggled back to his feet. Ada set herself up and they went at it as well. However, Saurus let up for one split-second and Ada leaped over his head, and kicked him smack-center in the back. He flew forward. Ada zipped around when he was about to slam into the wall and knuckled him in the stomach. He fell to the floor and tried to get up, but could not. Ada relaxed and offered her hand, which he accepted in defeat and pain. dreamer ran over and supported Saurus. He thanked her quietly and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek.
The others stood and watched Redwing and KelNino, who were still engaged. KelNino was flashing violently, as if lightning was radiating from her. Each time she flashed, the group had to shield their eyes. KelNino gathered her strength and put all her strength into her fist. She launched it forward, but Redwing grasped it with his palm. He pushed her arm up and landed one in her gut. She crumpled over. However, she was able to yank back her fist, twist around and jam her elbow into Redwing's chest. Upon impact, a huge white flash jolted the room. Redwing was sent flying into the wall. His back slammed into a pullarm bar and his head thrown back. The cinderblock wall crumbled as he fell to the ground. Small chunks of rock and dust fell upon him. KelNino stood in a action-ready stance, breathing heavily. She relaxed and strolled over to Redwing within the rubble. As he opened his eyes and let his vision clear he saw KelNino sitting beside him.
KelNino laughed. "So, what about paleo-humans being weaker?"
Redwing struggled to get up, but his muscles ached terribly. KelNino lifted him up with the help of Ada and they went to make sure John hadn't broken any of the flugelhorns yet. However, when they got back to the group, they found two unidenitified figures holding each other intimately in the corner.
"Oh my God!" screamed KelNino. Ada looked horrified after seeing who the two were. "Why is Ben making out with Trent Reznor?"
Chris, for some reason, held the answer to this. "Because he's horny, duhhhhh. He hasn't seen his girlfriend in a few months now!" Chris chuckled. Ada just rolled her eyes.
"Eeewwww," KelNino muttered. Then she thought of something else. "Does this mean Ben's not really straight?"
"Remind me to tease him about this later," Daniel replied.
Later, as Drummer (you know, the drummer from the band) left the room, she ran into Saurus and dreamer talking and laughing in the hall.
"Oh, uh, hey Drummer. Where'd you you come from?" dreamer asked, turning her attention to Drummer.
"I just wandered from my poems and ended up here, I suppose." Drummer continued down the hall to find a clean pair of underwear. Daniel had sodden her thong when he insisted upon trying it on. dreamer and Saurus continued their conversation.
Saurus pulled up some chairs, offering a seat to dreamer, which she took thankfully. They sipped at Beanie Blasts.
"So, please..." Saurus started. "Tell me about your world. This world. What was it like before...before the pop revolution."
"Oh...it was good, I guess. Er, we all went to school every day and, er, hung out afterward and stuff. Life was pretty average before I got involved with the Bathroom Pioneers...as average as a college kid's can be, I guess..."
Saurus inched forward, biting his lower lip in excited curiosity. "What was music like? I've heard so much about it..."
"Music? You've never listened to music?!" dreamer was shocked.
Saurus sank back in his chair, a little embarrassed. "Only pop music. Our transcripts talk about rock and alternative, but no one has ever heard it..."