Part 15
"But how?!" dreamer cried in shock. Back to silverchair stuff
"The Pop forces destroyed all sources of music like what you know. Only pop exists in my world..."
"No one ever even tried to write real music?!"
"They were exterminated long before they could. Anyone thought to be threatening was hunted down. Lucky we survived. Please, what is this 'rock' like?"
"Oh, there are so many forms of it! There's glam rock, alternative, punk, metal, techno rock...oh here, come with me..." dreamer grabbed Saurus's wrists and dragged him back into the main room with the rest of the group. She tapped Daniel's shoulder. "Hey, Dannyboy, you don't have a sound system on you, do you?"
Daniel thought for a moment and replied, "Yeah, lemme check..." He searched for a moment in his backpack before pulling out a full Sony system with megabase speakers and a five-CD deck. dreamer shook with glee.
"Hey, everyone!" she announced. "I understand that all you Neo-Bathroom Pioneers have never heard rock before!" The Neo-Bathroom Pioneers' eyes widened.
"What?!" KelNino exclamined.
"Yeah, KelNino, they've never heard it before." dreamer popped COLD, Frogstomp, and the End of Days soundtrack into the stereo and turned up the volume as loud as she could without blowing the fuses. Soon the heavy beat of COLD was pouring around the room.
"I'll give you anything but me, everyone around you twisted fame..." the vocalist mumbled melodically. dreamer turned to the Neo-Bathroom Pioneers, smiling.
At the first sound of rock to their ears, the Neo-Bathroom Pioneers had all come to a standstill.
Saurus turned to dreamer. "Amazing...I have never heard anything like this before."
"Do you like it?" she asked eagerly.
He couldn't answer because the Neo-Pioneers had started a mosh pit, but it was cut short by Sweep barking like she had to go out. Daniel, who had nodded off on a ratty old sofa in the corner, woke up, then groggily excused himself to take Sweep for a little walk.
"Only Daniel could fall asleep with COLD playing," chuckled Junta.
dreamer began leafing through the assorted CDs in her bag. "Here we go!" she proclaimed. "This album hasn't been recorded yet, but it's my favorite." Seconds later, the raging guitars of Hole's "Violet" filled the air. When the final "Take everything, take everythinnnngggg..." faded out, dreamer smiled and said, "And that's what we call a rock-star voice."
"How does she scream like that?" Redwing inquired in amazement as the "Miss World" bassline shook the floor.
"I don't know. I think it's from all that smoking she does. Next I think we'll expose you guys to some Smashing Pumpkins. You can't really talk about alternative rock without getting to them."
"You mean the band that broke up because they were tired of trying to keep up the pre-Britney alternative movement?"
"That's the one," dreamer said.
Ada broke in right then. "Okay, this is sort of an irrelevant question, but where did you figure out the name Neo-Bathroom Pioneers? Do they still have Sailor Moon in your time? I'm just wondering, 'cause they have a Neo-Queen Serenity and..." KelNino gave Ada a strange look, so Ada stopped talking. All of the original Bathroom Pioneers were used to her mindless rambling and strange thoughts, but the Neo-Bathroom Pioneers weren't.
"Um, we did have Sailor Moon for a little bit, but they got rid of all of the Japenese culture in it. They totally Americanized it, and instead of the catchy techno Moonie songs, they put in pop songs. And they had pop stars do the voice overs, so basically, it lost all watchability." said Saurus.
"Man, we really have to do something. We can't let them destroy Sailor Moon like that. It's WRONG!" whined Ada.
Then dreamer said, "Yes, yes Ada. But remember, we have to stay true to our original mission."
Ada nodded and tried to speak over the stereo, but KelNino had just turned up the Guns N' Roses song, "Oh My God," on the End of Days soundtrack. The Neo-Bathroom Pioneers were swaying to the introduction and burst into another pit when the bass kicked in.
Suddenly, KelNino started sobbing, "Such a sad story...such a terrible thing..." Ada sat down beside KelNino and put her arm around her.
"What's wrong, hun? Why are you sad? This is a time to celebrate!"
"I was just thinking...(sniffle) about Axl Rose..."
"What about him, dear?"
"I (sniffle) saw a Hard Rock Live of him on TV an-and he was...(sob)"
"He was what, KelNino?"
"He was fat!" KelNino broke into hysterical sobs.
Ada's eyes widened.
"What?!"
"Yes! He was! He was absolutely, disgustingly obese! And he still had black leather pants on...like Robin's..." She tried to wipe tears from her eyes, but had broken down again.
dreamer was shaking. "Turn the damn music off!" she screamed. Daniel, who had just gotten back with Sweep, gave her a dirty look, but clicked some buttons and "Professional Murder Music" stopped playing. dreamer and KelNino hugged each other, both of them bawling their eyes out.
"Er, what's wrong?" Robin asked.
"Axl Rose is fat!" KelNino managed to sob out.
"What?!" Daniel was taken aback. "That sexy bitch got fat? Why didn't he just not eat for a week or two?"
"Daniel, not now!" Shayla snapped through a few trickles of tears.
"Well..." Daniel continued anyway. "It would solve the problem." He turned his nose up and crossed his arms. Saurus stepped forward and dreamer buried herself in his arms crying.
KelNino lifted her head up. "And you know what else? (sniffle) Flea is 38 years old! That's just damn impossible!" dreamer's shoulders were shaking. Saurus tried to comfort her.
"Er, I'm afraid I don't know who these Axl or Flea fellows are...but, if it makes you feel any better, we could - "
He couldn't finish because Daniel had turned the stereo back on to COLD and was singing along. "I'll give you everything but me. Every one around you twisted fame..." KelNino looked up and could not help but giggle, Daniel's fly was down again, but he continued any way. "I can't control you and your look. You silly freak. You SUPER $%#@!"
The group were so engrossed in Daniel's performance that they did not notice Saurus and dreamer making out in the corner.
(Webmaster's note: I didn't write that in, okay? Blame it on Ada!)
Ada had a thought just then. "Wait guys, whatever happened to Eddie?"
"Yeah, what ever happened to Eddie?" KelNino wiped the mascara off her cheek, but only managed to smear it.
"Wow, I ought to try that, KelNino!" Daniel said excitedly. "It kinda gives you the Marilyn Manson look, only sexy!" KelNino rolled her eyes and tossed Daniel her tube of mascara, which he immediately began to smear below his eyes.
She continued. "When was the last time we saw him anyway?"
"Er, wasn't it when you did that fire dance back in the warehouse?"
KelNino thought for a moment and assented. Just then, Eddie popped out from behind a piece of furniture and spread his lips to reveal a cute smile with braces.
"Eddie!" KelNino gave Eddie a munchkin hug "Ed, where'd you get the braces?" Eddie garbled something. "Oh really? Yeah, I don't like orthodontists either..."
"Eddie!" Junta scolded. "Where have you been?" Eddie tried to perform some sort of Charades that nobody could decipher. "Er, Eddie, just forget it." Eddie shook his head and spoke to KelNino.
"Er, what, Eddie? Pull a zipper?" KelNino seemed confused. Eddie nodded excitedly and turned around, pointing to a zipper on the back of his head. "Oh, I get it! Okay, one sec, little guy!" KelNino smiled. She pulled down the zipper of the hairy suit and out popped her bandmate Micheal!
"Micheal? What are you doing here?"
"Hey Gina!" Micheal said sarcastically.
"My name isn't Gina, Micheal..." she grumbled. Suddenly, Jimmy popped out of the suit as Micheal stepped out of it.
"Jimmy!(in the South Park 'Timmy' manner, of course)"
"Hey, what's up, KelNino?" Micheal drabbled, looking over at Daniel. "Oh, that dendropheliac is still here? Hey, who are those dudes?" he said, pointing to the Neo-Bathroom Pioneers.
"Oh, just forget it, Jimmy. Just guys from the distant future here to help us save the world, that's all."
"Oh, okay." Jimmy made his way to the cocktail bar.
"So..." Micheal started. "I uh, never wrote you back a note, Gina."
"I know, I know. Guys don't write notes. I don't care. And my name isn't Gina..." KelNino rolled her eyes. "Dude, some geek on the bus was shooting spitballs again. Wish you could've been there, Mikey."
"Er, what bus? You weren't on the bus today." Micheal looked at her questioningly.
"How many times have I told you? I don't live at that barn, I live in - oh nevermind. Here's another friendly note..." She handed Micheal the note which he stuffed in his pocket.
"So uh..." Micheal waved nervously to the crowd. "Hi there." KelNino quickly introduced him. "Oh, do I get a little nickname - "
Jimmy interupted him. "Hey, can I be 'Yimmy'? Remember Mr. Santiago, KelNino? He was so cool..."
"Jimmy, he was flaming gay."
"So? He let us talk and skip class and stuff."
"Hey!" Micheal interrupted. "Why can't I have a nickname?"
"What do you want to be called, Mikey?"
"Er..." Micheal thought for a moment before replying. "Well, not Eddie. That's stupid. Why don't you guys call me the Invisible Man!"
"Um...why?" asked Chris.
"Because I think the name is cool!"
"Can you *become* invisible?" Ash asked, completely lost.
"No, it's just a cool name," Micheal said.
"Oh...okay," replied rockstar, looking confused too.