| If I had more time, sure, I'd love to drool and staple pictures to my wall and be a girly fan. But I don't have time for it. I have no time for myself at all. No, I'm not saying that you other fans don't have lives.. I'm just saying I'm pretty much leading a double life. 2 jobs, bills to pay, volunteer work, and maybe rarely, I'll get in 8 hours of sleep every week or so. One of these days I'll have all my debts paid off and I'll run away from here to start my third life all for myself... But moving on. The third dream happened just recently. It got me thinking enough to need to write this down here. It was very vivid, very detailed... and way too real. I had driven down to North Carolina there to go visit the Hardyz. Apparently they invited me down to meet them after I talked to them via phone for a while. Imagine that? Well, I found the place alright and I was pulling down their driveway... which was pretty long so it was away from the other houses and such. I pulled up there next to a black corvette or a camero... I don't know which one I didn't look long enough to confirm... In behind the black car was a silvery grey looking truck. Now, the house itself looked big. Not mansion huge, but big enough to hold a family. Large garage, two stories with a nice front porch. White with blue shutters and all... I told you the dream was detailed. Anyway, I hadn't even turned my jeep off when the front door swings open and Jeff just comes flying out. Running across the porch, leaping down the steps, jumps and slides across the hood of the jeep to hug me as soon as I got out. Picked me up and swung me around like I was a kid then set me back down again. Talking in an excited voice. Asking me about the jeep. What year it was, if it ran alright. If I liked driving it... then I look up to the door again and Matt comes dragging out. Looking like he just woke up... I'm sure you girly fans'll like this part.. he was standing there wearing these PJ pants that looked like the bottom half of a bear suit. Brown and fuzzy with the slippers to match. Homer Simpson slippers with the bear claws on the toes. Real charming really. Well, Matt drags himself down as I go over, hug him nice like while he manages to wake himself up enough to suggest getting the bags out of the jeep and take them up to my room. Jeff of course leaps over to the back and opens it up to grab my bags and hops over to lead the way into the house... Really, lucky for him, I pack light. So all three of us go inside... the inside of the house is just gorgeous. The kind of house I want when I buy one. You walk through the front door and the kitchen's right there on the right. White and sparkling with a lot of space to move around in. The door into the garage is on the left wall. Straight ahead is the stairs going up with pictures on the wall... Family pictures of course. Off above the kitchen is the living room. Very nicely set up. They had one of those sectional couches set up... A dark grey color like the truck outside.. coffee table, stereo system in the corner, big screen TV on a nice oak cabinet that more than likely held a few dozen movies... But, moving on, we headed up the stairs while they grilled me left and right with questions. How long was the drive? How long did it take? Did I have any problems? How's my mother... that sort of thing... Upstairs, Matt's bedroom was to the right. Which looked like a bomb hit it really. Clothes strewn on the floor, a path to the bed that had black blankets on it. Not made of course. Posters on the wall, free weights stacked at the foot of the bed. Closet open with what little clothes were actually hung up... Hell, maybe he had a hard time getting out of bed and it was really clean before I arrived. I don't know... Not that my room's clean of course. But, moving on. Jeff's room was to the left across the hall. Somewhat neater but by no means clean. It was cozy really. Brighter colors in the room, clothes littered here and there but not enough that you need to make a path. The bed was somewhat made. Like he put some effort into it but knew he'd be crawling back into it later anyway. He had trophies on some shelves in the corner and some free weights near the shelves... Moving on yet again, straight ahead was a little T-Juncture in the hall. two doors, one to the bathroom and one to the master bedroom which they used for guests apparently because that's where they threw my bags... Heading on back downstairs we sat down in the kitchen while Matt made himself a bowl of cereal, just chatting and making plans for later. Jeff was just thrilled to hell and back which, naturally got me going too. He kept listing off things he wanted to do and places he wanted to take me. So much to do and so little time. Matt seemed to perk up a bit after getting some sugar into his system and told Jeff that he could drag me around later but today was for vegging and he still had his few hours to spend with me like they agreed. Jeff sulked a bit but it didn't seem to damper his hyperness... Maybe he downed some sugar before I got there.. Either that or I'm really exciting. Yeah, laugh it off... But, anyway.. we settled into the living room about then, all huddled on the couch with Matt on the left and Jeff stretched out on my right. Sitting there loafing and watching a Scooby Doo marathon. Making jokes here and there about Daphne and Freddy sneaking off for a quicky. About Shaggy and Scooby's stash. That sort of thing. Just completely relaxed really... Then Jeff apparently reached a boiling point with the relaxation and hit me with a tickle attack. We were wrestling on the couch while Matt just sat there real calm like watching the cartoons.... Alright, here's a mushy part so if you don't like it skip it! Jeff finally got me pinned down, we're both out of breath and grinning like a pair of goofy kids. I've got tears in my eyes from laughing so much and he had this really mischievous look on his face. Obviously enjoying my torture... "Say mercy." He said... and I don't know what possessed me, but clear as a bell I tell him, "I love you." He didn't say anything. Just watched me with this look in his eye and I explained why I loved him. That, even though I didn't know him all that long, I loved everything about him. His laugh, his smile, his whole attitude. The way he carries himself, the way he talks, the intensity that he puts into everything he does. That he took my breath away... And I told him that I didn't expect him to return the same feelings of course. I wasn't expecting anything from him. Then he kissed me. He never said anything back and it didn't bother me at all. Really, he didnt' need to say anything. I saw the look in his eye and the kiss was enough... Luckily for my sanity he hopped up suddenly and scooped me up, slinging me over his shoulder. Everso happily announcing that it was time for me to go into the pool. I half heartedly struggled because there was no escape. Tried a few reasons... "I can't swim," I'd tell him. "Then it's a good time to learn!" he'd answer. He tossed me in then, clothes and all into the deep end and I swam to the surface... That's when I woke up. I didn't have time to think about it right then. I had to get up and get in the shower to get to work. But as soon as I left work, full of stress, going to talk to the newspaper people about the route and getting chewed out and chewing them out... add some more stress on... Then I had to drive a good 30 miles down to pick up my mother. It gave me time to think about it then. And it made me cry. I was frustrated and stressed from work, I wanted my mother's car to be working again so I didn't have to worry about if she needed the jeep anymore. And what do I need on top of all that? Continue |