Doyle's Nearscope
Episode 1.8
Crais is having a hissy fit.
"So, what's the hubbub, bub?" Scorpy asks him.
"Brunette. Medium height. Really really hot...and massively rude! Broke my shoe, took my John, do you have any idea who I'm talking about?!" Crais shouts at Scorpy.
"Officer Sun?" Scorpy speculates.
"No, Aeryn the dog-faced girl! Of course Officer Sun!"
"Don't fret, i have everything under control." Scorpy reassures Crais.
Cut to Aeryn and John in the prowler.
John's singing, "Scorpy got a gun, stuck a knife up my bum, now we're on the run, and I'm looking at Aeryn Sun, what did her daddy do? What did he put you through?..."
"John, would you stop singing that frelling song! I can't concentrate on flying while your singing." she tells him.
John's face turns Scorpius-like and he whips out Wynonna. He threatens Aeryn and tells her to turn the ship around and go back to Scorpy's command carrier.
Aeryn tells John he's going to have to kill her before she returns to Scorpy. John pulls the trigger on his blaster and nothing happens, he says, "Frelling Wynonna! You never work!" and he goes diving out the window of the prowler and into space. Of course he's perfectly fine and unaffected by the temperature in space. He floats back to Scorpy's command carrier which takes about 5 minutes and when he arrives, Scorpy's waiting for him. Scorpy immediately puts John back on the giant ball torture rack.
"I never noticed you had a beard, John." Scorpy comments.
"It's this thing where if I'm left alone for 5 minutes i grow a beard. And I was in space for five minutes." he tells Scorpy, "And the clothes I'm wearing are almost Jedi in quality. Just call me Obi-John Kenobi."
"I'd actually rather just remove the wormhole tech from your arse now, thanks." Scorpy says, "But don't worry, in doing so I will honour our agreement and remove your chip."
"We never had an agreement." John states.
"Well, I killed the doctor by breathing on him..." Scorpy begins to tell John.
"I knew your breath was lethal, Scorpy."
"...so now *I* am the one who gets to remove your chip. And hahaha, John, bravo for a truly terrible pun. But soon all you'll be punning is gibberish." Scorpy informs John while making a start on removing his chip and with it, the wormhole tech.
"Let me guess - you won't kill me? How stunningly original." John mocks him.
Scorpy has finished removing John's chip when Crais walks in and informs him that Aeryn's prowler went down and that she didn't make it.
John swears in gibberish.
"I condemn you, John Crichton, to live so that your thirst for revenge yadda yadda yadda blah blah blah. Goodbye." Scorpy says then leaves. Crais tags along.
on to the next episode...
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