Title: Doyle's Angel season 1 parody

Written: 9-4-01 through 9-6-01 (probably explains why it's not good. Only took two days to write it.)

Feedback: Yep. Would like some of that. Helpful suggestions even (just don't say, "be funnier". I'm trying.)

Disclaimer: See silver's parody disclaimer:)

Distribution: If this one gets a good response I'll do S2 of Angel.

Spoilers: Well, if you haven't seen S1 of Angel - pretty much spoilery.

**

Season 1

**

(Author): Angel has arrived in LA and bought an office/batcave, Angelmobile, and meets his new best friend.

Angel: "Who/what are you?"

Doyle: "I'm Doyle, of course. Your Irish half-demon contact to the PTB. I'm also here to retell the story of your life and plus this show needs a potential love interest for Cordelia."

Angel: "You mean me?"

Cordy: "Ha! Not you, dumass."

Doyle: "I meant me, you idiot."

Angel: "Oh. Cordelia, what are you doing here?"

Cordy: "I'm here because Doyle's homerotic comments would tend to suggest he's interested in you and we can't have that. So I'm here to distract him. However, I will keep rejecting him till episode nine."

Doyle: "What happens in episode nine?"

Cordy: "Nevermind. It's time to introduce the first reoccuring character on this show."

Kate: "Hi ! I'm Kate. I'll be your distraction from Buffy and nearly every B/A shipper will hate me."

Angel: "Okay then."

(Author): Then Oz shows up and we're all excited about the first B/A crossover. But we all get slightly distracted from Oz by Spike's hysterical opening monologue in the third episode of the season. So, after that not much happens. Blah blah Cordy gets an apartment which is haunted blah blah Doyle's wife shows up blah blah. Oh yeah, and then there's the first *real* B/A crossover when Buffy shows up to whine and Angel becomes human because of some demon blood or something.

Buffy: "Wah! I'm gonna bitch this whole episode..."

(Viewers): Does she ever do anything else?

Angel: No need to whine, Buffy. I'm gonna get the oracles to erase the day. Don't worry tho, only *I* will remember the day (and what we did) and have to carry that kowledge till the day I die."

Buffy: "Wah!"

(Author): Finally episode nine rrives and Cordy finds out about Doyle's demon half and they're about to make dinner plans when all of a sudden Doyle kisses Cordelia goodbye (after clobbering his boss which the Author thinks Doyle's been wanting to do for awhile) and a blue light passes from Doyle to Cordy.

Cordy: "What are you doing, Doyle? Hitting the boss - pretty much gonna get you fired."

Doyle: "It matters not. See, I'm going to sacrafice myself to the big ol' lantern of death. By the way, you have my visions now. Chow!"

(Author): And like that, Doyle's left Angel (and all hopes for a D/C relationship.)

(Viewers): Nooooooo! Doyle! How could Joss kill off Doyle?!

(Joss): I had it planned from the start.

(Viewers): Yeah right!

(Author): (takes off shoe and throws it at Joss) Right then. So, enter Wesley. Still the bumbling watcher of Buffy S3 only dressed in leather (pants) which chafe at...legs.

Wes: "I'm here to be a Joxer-like replacement for Doyle who doesn't come up to that little Irishman's standard *riff* I think I've got something in my eye."

(Viewers): Aw, he's *still* a loser! Get rid of him.

Wes: "Wait, I can help out with research!"

(Viewers): Get rid of him.

(Author): So we suffer a mid-season slump. A few interesting things happen. Kate finds out Angel's a vampire, Cordy gets impregnated with demon spawn and Angel has an all-too-funny dance scene. But there are some bad points. Like Jhiera, the incomprehensible princess from another dimention.

(Viewers): Huh? What's she saying? We can't understand her.

Angel: (to Jhiera) "I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch what you've been saying the entire episode. Can you repeat that?"

(Author): Never fear tho! The season picks up with Faith's arrival and the resurface of Wolfram&Hart.

Faith: "I think I've put nearly the entire community of Sunnydale in a coma so I've come to Los Angeles to beat up on the people here."

Lindsey: "Faith, I want you to kill Angel for me. I don't like him very much."

Faith: "Kay."

(Author): So Faith has some fun torturing Wesley and fighting Angel but it turns out she just wants him to kill her.

Faith: (hits Angel) "Help me get onto the road to redemption."

Angel: "Alright."

(Author): But of course, Buffy has to show up.

Buffy: (hits Angel.)

(Viewers): Boo!

Angel: (hits Buffy.)

(Viewers): Yay!

(Author): Everyone cheers and Faith does time in jail where hopefully she'll go a day without killing somebody. After that Angel's new bestest buddy shows up.

Gunn: "Yo, I'm here to help y'all out with the fighting. And bitch about my sister I had to slay."

(Author): We finally reach the final for the season and it's a doozie.

Wes: "Angel, you're gonna die."

Angel: "Oh."

Wes: "No wait, I read it wrong. You'll become human."

Angel: "Okay."

Wes: "But not for a long long until-the-end-of-the-series long time."

Angel: "Damn."

(Viewers): Whoo! Angel will be able to be with whiney Buffy!...Uh, why are we happy about that?

(Author): This is what happens when half the viewers are B/A shippers and the other half aren't. Backing up a bit, Angel's office/batcave gets blown up, Kate bitches to Angel about her dead father (oh crap! I forgot to mention her father died...well, now you know.) and Angel kills the bad guy.

(Audience): That's the end of the season?

Lindsey: "Wait! Aren't you forgetting my HAND?!"

(Author): Ah yes, Angel cuts off Lindsey's hand when he's trying to burn the scroll Angel needs.

Lindsey: (grunting) "Why'd you do that?!?"

Angel: "I restrained myself from killing you didn't I? I was pretty much operating on, "Scroll. Hand. Fire. Seperate three."

(Author): So the episode ends with Lindsey being all wanting revenge and we find out what W&H brought back in a box...Darla.

(Viewers): Darla?! Wow! We can't wait for next season. This Darla storyline's gonna be the bestest...