**

Season 2

**

(Author): The first thing we see when Angel S2 begins is a green-faced, blonde, horned demon with red eyes who...sings? Yes, this looks to be a promising season. Anyway, without an office, the Angel Investigations team use Cordelia's apartment as their base of operations. Meanwhile, over at Wolfram&Hart Lindsey's still all pissed at Angel for taking his hand as it seems his new plastic one is not very good at opening CDs. Oh yeah, and Darla's there and she'd *really* like to see Angel.

Angel: (returning from killing the demon who was protecting a pregnant woman) "I can't believe I killed a good demon. Aww, now I'm gonna brood about it for the rest of the episode."

Cordy: "There's no time for brooding, Angel. You haveta get outta here and go sing 'Mandy' terribley at the demon kareoke bar while me and Wes meet Gunn for the first time. Now go on, shoo!"

Angel: (after singing 'Mandy' terribley and killing the *right* demon, is visiting Faith in jail) "Nice to see you again. Killed anybody lately?"

Faith: "This is the only episode I'll be appearing in this entire season."

(Author): For awhile not much happens except Angel inheriting a hotel from some old dead woman.

Angel: "This will be our new office. No more working in Cordelia's apartment."

Gunn: "Kickass!"

Angel: "What are you doing here, Gunn?"

(Author): But before he can answer Cordelia has a vision and they all head out to kill a demon. While walking home Angel spots a familiar blonde strolling by - Darla.

Angel: (upon returning to the hotel) "You'll never guess who I saw walking between the clowns and the big talkin' hotdog..."

Cordy: "Elvis?"

Angel: "Darla."

Cordy: "Darla?"

Wes: "Darla? Your si--"

Angel: "Yes, Darla. She's back! And much more human than usual. Now excuse me while I go dream about Darla."

(Author): Next thing you know Angel's away swami fishing and Wesley is pretending to be Angel. But things are soon back to normal with Angel obsessing over finding Darla. And back at W&H...

Darla: "Lindsey, you got a girlfriend? A boyfriend?"

Lindsey: "Well, there's Holland....but I like you better."

(Author): They kiss.

Holland: "She's dying of syphilis."

Lindsey: (jumps back) Get outta my mouth! (spits on the floor)

Holland: (smiling) Now who do you like better?

(Viewers): Eeeeww! The old man's got a thing for Lindsey!

(Author): Don't worry, he'll be dead soon enough. Anyways, Lindsey helps Darla escape from W&H and at some point she begs Angel to turn her back into a vampire.

Darla: (to Angel) "Turn me back into a vampire, Angel, pleeeeease?"

Angel: "No. What I *will* do though is go through with three challenges Jeeves sets up for me, face death in the eye and then when he can't save you I'll consider turning you back into a vampire 'cause I figure my soul will allow me to make you a *good* vampire. Like me."

(Author): So all this happens but in the end Lindsey and some hired goons bust in and they brought a friend - Drusilla.

Lindsey: (holding Angel by the hair while he's on his knees) "How did you think this would end?"

Angel: "I thought we might all be able to become good friends. Hey, watch the hair."

(Author): So Dru makes Darla a vampire again. Highjinks ensue as they maime, kill and shop. But they get a taste for lawyer and soon have half the employees of W&H trapped in a people cellar.

Darla: "I believe you said something about a massacre."

Lindsey: (smacks Holland upside the head) "Nice one, Holland! You shoulda known that would come back to haunt you."

Holland: "I didn't mean *us*!"

(Author): Anyways, Holland dies as well as everyone else except Lindsey and Lilah thanx to Angel not giving a damn whether they die or not and locking them in with Darla and Dru.

Angel: (back with his crew) "You're all fired."

Cordy: "Why?"

Angel: "Because it's mid-season, we need to do something to make the viewers go, "ooooh". "

(Viewers): Ooooh.

(Author): So while Cordy, Wes and Gunn bitch about their boss, Angel's busy terrorising Lilah, setting Darla and Dru on fire and as usual beating up on Lindsey. Though he does help Lindsey get a new hand or something.

Then we hit the final four episodes of the season where someone must have decided a Wizard of Oz/ Alice in Wonderland/ Cinderella story would be a good way to end the season because Cordy ends up in the Host's dimention.

(Viewers): Hey! You forgot the part where Angel and Darla boinked.

(Author): That's not important. He kept his soul and got back with his crew. Whoa! I'm spinning myself out! *sarcastic*.

Angel: "We have to go and save Cordy!"

Angel, Wes & Gunn together: "Let's go!!"

(Author): So they arrive in Oz...er Wonderland...I mean Pylea and Angel discovers he doesn't burst into flames.

Angel: "Woohoo! Two suns?! I could kiss you!"

(Author): he says to the Host/Lorne who may or may not be gay. Meanwhile, Cordy meets a dirty girl who's name is Fred. Fred is taken away.

Fred: "Bye!"

(Author): Cordy's crowned Princess and has to make with the hanky-panky with the Groosalugg.

Cordy: (when she first sees the Groosalugg) "Okie dokie."

(Author): So we wonder if Doyle was still around and *he* still had the visions whether he might have been the one to mate with the Groosalugg. Other things going on at that moment include a sinister-looking priest and Angel not cutting off the head of Fred (who btw thanks him...)

Fred: "Handsome man. Saved me from the monsters. (whimpers) Bye!"

(Author): I *had* to put that in. Also, Angel finds out the hard way he turns into an Angelbeast while in Pylea. So he rips a leg or two off a guard here, Fred keeps him from killing his friends there, and he changes back. Cordy's understandably shocked when Lorne's head is brought to her on a platter.

(Viewers): Noooooo!!! No more kareoke??!

Lorne: "Never fear, I speak!"

(Viewers): We SO saw *that* comming.

(Author): So Lorne's not dead unless his body's mutilated and Fred likes tacos. Sinister-looking priest guy wants to blow up the heads of all the slaves in Pylea which he calls "cows". Steak! Steak! Steak! Wesley is made leader of the rebels.

Rebels: "You're our leader!"

Wes: "Why?"

Rebels: "Because ya gotta have a job of some importance."

Wes: "But...but...I'm *Wesley*!"

Rebels: "If you're gonna bitch about it..."

Wes: "No no, I'll be your leader. Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na lead-er!"

Rebels: "If we wanted someone who was gonna bitch we woulda chosen Gunn."

Gunn: "Hey!"

(Author): Fred and Angel become sorta close but the closeness is shortly interupted by Angel going and fighting the Groosalugg. He goes Angelbeast and while Groo sticks his hands in fire, Cordy decapitates sinister-looking priest guy. She stops Angel and Groo from fighting, she confesses her love for the Groosalugg (NOT Angel) and they go home.

Cordy: "Don't worry, Groo, I'll return!"

Groosalugg: "No you won't!" (waving goodbye)

(Author): When Angel, Cordy, Wes, Gunn, Lorne and Fred return home and Angel's frighteningly perky, he spots Willow and concludes (without her saying a word) "It's Buffy."

(Viewers): Wow! He's gained the power to read minds! What a conclusion.