Resolution
At the end of the pier the boards
were loose. Sunlight glinted off the water
below the planks where I stood,
where cracks opened up like fault
lines, huge fissures that served
as windows to the ocean. I shrugged

and tossed my cigarette away. He shrugged
that last time, in the restaurant where boards
now block up the windows. They served
coffee with no cream that tasted like water.
He took his dignity and left, saying, "It's all your fault."
He left nothing but an empty cup at the counter where I stood.

And maybe it
was me, I thought now, staring. I stood
him up too many times, laughed and shrugged
at the way his eyes slanted up in anger. Faulty
judgment stacked up in my head like rotting boards.
I tried not to let feelings seep through, but watery
tears brimmed up in my eyes and flushed them out.
Served

on a platter come our just desserts, I thought, served
right alongside the places where we stood
to make our mistakes.
There was no water
running through my veins that night, as I tried to shrug
off my past and staggered over the boards
of this same pier, miserable and drunk to a fault.

I didn't remember about the fault
lines in the outermost planks. My memory served
me poorly through intoxication, and the baords
gave way uinderneath my feet. I stood
up after a moment of thrashing in the waves and shrugged
off a string of seaweed, gooey and dripping with salt water.

Sober now, I could barely remember the feel of the water,
but I knew this hole in the planks was my fault.
Time for one last glance, one last shrug--
a chance to tuck away an attitude that served
no one well--and then I abandoned the place where I stood,
leaving someone else to find the rifts between the boards.

The ocean shrugged for no one; the water rolled on
beneath the pier where people stood, serving as a sounding board
for a lonely girl trying to find a measure of peace with her faults.
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