"Confident people generally prefer to be around confident people. Therefore, strong powerful women prefer to be around strong powerful men. Right? Yes."
I don't know. I am a mousy woman in person, even though I have a big mouth on the internet, and I would prefer a strong powerful man, if I was looking for one, but not someone who was a bully or who caused the whole atmosphere of the relationship to be about himself. I also used to enjoy the tender side of a man. So a mixture to me would be heading towards the ideal. Waffling in the midst of high duty pressure is not an ideal to me, even though a man as any human being, can have valid reactions to things, it's the action of waffling or the choice to consistently cave in, that would be the problem for me. Bailing out when the going gets tough, isn't ideal to me either. There's no chivalry in that, and I don't think the women's movement has anything to do with that. I've seen that men will stick with a woman when the going is fun, but when it gets rough, they want out, or they start looking for an alternative relationship to move into "if" the current one gets too "non-fun" for them. There are some men, maybe most men, who always have a plan "B" on the side. Most want the play, but not the responsibility that goes with it. (which you stated somewhere here, similarly).
I heard some statistics this week that really saddened me. I heard that 4 out of 5 men will leave a woman when she needs him the most, as in when she is seriously ill or a child is seriously ill, etc. But the woman usually sticks with the man when he needs her. This was stated on a moody radio program, by a man, that focuses in on male leadership in the family. I knew this was happening, but I was saddened to find out that the percentage was so high. I've seen this happen in part all my life, even before women burned their bras in protest.
Of course there are exceptions to both the women and men bailing or not bailing, etc. I've been delighted to see so many men take on the responsibilty of custodial fathers in recent years, and have dated a few of them, been interested in a few more that I never got the chance to date. I guess that speaks to me of a man who can handle committment, and I like that in a man.
Dependability is something that is sorely needed too, golly if there was ever an area that a man would want to know to work hardest in, it would be the area of dependability. That would take alot of stress off of a woman, make her feel secure, and set her free to love him.
"Except that most of the men available to them have been taught that they CAN'T take charge of a woman."
I was wondering what you or anyone really, would be thinking in regards to what characterises "taking charge of a woman". What does it mean to do that, and how is it carried out in the dating realm, engagement realm, and marriage realm? What shouldn't be involved in taking charge?
"That she doesn't want it, doesn't like it, it's politically incorrect (horrors!), and worst of all, that takign charge says that she is inferior."
I was always taught that men were heads of the household, and the woman's job was to be the helpmeet. So I keep getting surprised when I hear so many people in these groups say that they were never exposed to this, or not exposed very much to it.
However, as I've gotton older, I have seen that the "helpmeet" aspect really has to go both ways in order to have a balanced relationship. Perhaps the woman is the primary helpmeet, but I think that the man, has his areas of service and helpmeet to the woman.
I think a man has to find ways to do this that will not lessen or weaken his role as the leader, and put the woman in a mental or emotional state where she can't sense his leadership anymore. She still has to have emotional moorings to him, and be able to depend on him when she needs him. But there needs to be flexibility in how they carry out their roles, taking into account their individual skills, mentally, emotionally, etc. for a cohesive amd strong team. So if this is happening, I don't think that any one relationship will fit into the same box or mold, but can still have basic characteristics in common.
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