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These are not to be confused with the 7 deadly sins of other so-called denominations, we have half a sin MORE than them. MORE! And more is better! ~ 1 ~ NO THINKING: That should be obvious. No self respecting cult member should ever engage in free thought, that is the cult leaders job. ~ 2 ~ NO SELF RESPECT: Having any self-respect, any thinking cult member should know their cult leader deserves all of their respect. ALL! ~ 3 ~ KEEP LIME JELL-O HOLY: Eating lime jell-0 off a bowl or plate is wrong. It is to be used solely as an edible body cream or lubricant. ~ 4 ~ NO BURNING APPLE PIES: Burning apple pies is a terrible sin. Such a splendid food deserves to be treated with love, but not too much love, because that can make a terrible mess. ~ 5 ~ NO QUESTIONING: Asking what the fifth deadly sin is, don't EVER ask! ~ 6 ~ LOVE THE GOATS: Eating, mistreating, or in any way annoying goats. Goats are splendid animals and deserve to be treated with love. You can never love a goat too much, they have tremendous stamina. ~ 7 ~ RESPECT BEER: Never, ever drink beer from a Styrofoam cup. It doesn't taste as good. ~ 7½ ~ THE HALF-A-SIN: Eating tofu while trading stocks online and simultaneously whistling the theme to Starsky and Hutch out your ear. That one is only bad because of the tofu, so that is why it is only a half deadly sin
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