10 COD mandates!
Not to be confused with the Ten Commandments, these mandates are required behavior for all COD members, and eventually, will be required behavior for the entire WORLD!
- You shall worship Dan only as the Father of COD, worship "The Other Story" as his star reporter, and SON/clone to Dan, and worship Betsy, the shaved mountain goat of COD. You may refer to them as the Father Son and the Holy Goat.
- Every COD member (if they are able) shall at some point in their life make a pilgrimage to Dan's home in Brockton and offer him a home made apple pie.
- No drinking or drugs of ANY KIND! Just kidding! Scared you didn't I?
- You shall honor goats and COD (the fish, not the cult) as holy animals, never eating either.
- You shall never laugh at anyone that hits themselves in the groin accidentally with a large bottle of water because it is VERY PAINFUL! At least that is what I have heard, I am far too smooth to ever do that myself.
- You shall familiarize yourself with all aspects of COD. This means you MUST read all the old issues of Fresh COD, and you must visit all the COD web sites listed in the links section of the COD club.
- As the holy COD chain letter commands, you shall copy and paste the chain letter (if you obeyed number 6, you WILL know what I speak of) and mail it out to a minimum of ten friends WITH instructions for joining the COD club.
- You shall invite more people to join COD.
- You shall ALWAYS strive to either express your love for Dan or to make Dan laugh, or to express your love for Dan BY making him laugh. And NEVER express laughter when making love to Dan. (There would be no REASON to, but I thought I should tell you just in case)
- Obey this (the tenth) commandment above all others, the tenth commandment is supreme, NEVER violate it, it is the path to eternal happiness. All praise and glory be to me!
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