A self-assured megalomaniac, amused at Dan's pretensions
The Right Hateful J is better than you, and that's YOUR problem, not his.
But don't be so hard on yourself. You couldn't possibly even dream to aspire to the level of perfection that this being has achieved through a long and satisfying quest of self-examination (a quest that would be much much easier for the likes of you if you were even 1/1000th of the looker the RHJ is!).
In fact, this long and satisfying quest of self-examination is constant and ongoing, understandable when one considers the alternative of examining things 'shudder' outside of the self, when that self is RHJ.
Also understandable in that once one has clapped sensory organs onto the RHJ, one would probably never WANT to examine anything else. Mere mortals often stand (as stunned as clubbed wombats) simply at the hint of his presence.
Why, you'd have to be insane or somehow deceased not to recognize the fact of his Glory. Which brings us to COD.
With the passing of time one becomes tired of the same old reactions ("here's my body, be my master"... "here's everything I own, just let me stand here in your presence for 3 more seconds"... "hey who's that perfect guy over there and how may I serve him?"... etc, etc...). It's nice for one to be able to visit a place where everyone is completely insane. So insane in fact that their schizophrenic re-ordering of reality is somehow able to sublimate the truth of my awe-inspiringness EVEN IN MY PHYSICAL PRESENCE. Yeah. Pretty weird huh? I thought so.
So for me, COD is like stepping out of the real world (where I am worshipped so constantly that it's really just silly) and into a world of whimsy, fancy and makebelieve where little blue elf men run around in boxer shorts, cows are green and evil and have more than one set of genitalia, goats talk and slaughter the unbelievers, TOS is nailed to the floor and stamped to death by enraged hippopotami or slowly ripped apart by rabid cutworms, a guy named 'Dan' is actually some sort of "god", drones frolic in lime jello all the day long, and cheeseburgers really can fly!
Disclaimers:
The facts expressed in this bio are true and reflect the beliefs and opinions of all who read them. Use of the term "PHYSICAL PRESENCE" is liberal in that it includes the "electronic presence" of the RHJ as well, which is not as awe-inspiring as a face-to-face, but has been known to stun certain types of people and bring about epileptic fits in those of weak constitution.
The practice of 'Wombat Clubbing' is in no way condoned by the RHJ and was used simply to illustrate a point.
- Bibliography:
- You Are Nothing; the Writings Of the Right Hateful J
- Wombats; Our Warm, Cuddly, Cute But Stupid-Looking Friends
- Wombat Clubbing Made Easy
- Playing Tricks On Wombats
- Little Izzy And Her Circus Of Wombats
- Wombat Recipes For All Occasions
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