Emerald Darkcrow
Formerly host personality to the Living Rag, and now a prisoner of U.S. capitalism
This message found encoded, hidden deep inside a JPEG file, encrypted for hopes that one day I will be free:
Do not read this! Not that, down there, but this, right here.
You may call me PMS, although I can no longer be associated with any type of syndrome. I am now Perpendicular Monkey Semen, thus has Dan baptized me.
Although, upon my induction to COD, a demon was awakened. (I still think my ex had something to do with that one) This demon can only known as The Living Rag: premenstrual syndrome incarnate! Oh, what a terrible beast that hell-bitch was. Most extreme of mood swings, nasty, nasty attitude, and ravaged my mind beyond hope. I thought I would have to end my own life to expel this horror. Then, Right and Hateful J (from COGNAC) shot a giant menopause rocket at me, which promptly exorcized the demon. Though I am thankful, and give credit where credit is due, I can not befriend R&HJ...for he is of COGNAC, and COGNAC is baaad (he's a jerk anyway). For I am loyal to Dan, and Dan alone, and forever will I shun COGNAC! It's too strong for my tastes anyway. I'm more of a Black Haus guy myself. So, I have my brand-y new titanium D-chip, and a good brainwashing from Dan, and good as new.
While at COD, I have received hundreds of awards and merits! Well, only one: The Cindy Brady Tattle-tale award. I like to stay mindlessly out of any of the bigger things that go on, though I do like to throw that wrench I own into the mix. Sssshhhhhhh...nobody knows about the wrench...
I have only begun my Angel of Death Apprenticeship, with Betsy & eh's cat, when I was kidnapped by Corporate America. This is where I write to you, fearing even this small task, for there is NO "playing on the internet", and NO personal e-mail. I abused this, and I am now in the land of Busy-work. I hope to escape their clutches someday, or get a damn computer of my own.
Danspeed to you all. I hope I will see you... some day...
This is Perpendicular Monkey Semen, signing off.
P.S. This is not here. That whole message you read, it doesn't really exist. Know that is truth, and all will be well.
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