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Dave, Fred the Happy Clam, Avenger the evil clam, The Cardboard Gorilla and Virtual Dave Dave (ID: double2agent) A regular guy (although with a twisted sense of humour), he founded the Cardboard Gorilla Protection Society out of a feeling of wanting to do something for cardboard gorillas who are forced to stand around in movie theater foyers. Not long after that, though, Dan turned up and lured him away to COD, later transmogrifying him into Fred the Happy Clam. Dave is still sometimes seen at the CGPS, although he does appear to have more crustacean-like characteristics these days, and there are strange people in black helicopters following him around ever since the "Conspoiracy of the Week" about the yoghurt company. Fred the Happy Clam (ID: fred_thc) Fred is a laid-back, easygoing, somewhat amused crustacean. He leads COD's Fluffy Little Green Thing (FLGTA) Army and once tried to join TOS's Brainless Idiot Brigade as a stand-up theologian, but for some reason the people in Yahoo's religion chatroom kept mistaking him for a Rastafarian. (I mean, come on, clams don't even have dreads!) He's some kind of relation to Avenger the (formerly) Evil Clam (what kind of stupid name is Avenger? Probably why she was evil). He's also been known to make fun of strange people who think COD is evil, by pointing at them and laughing a lot. Then a passing cardboard gorilla would say "Dude, you are so wasted..." and laugh, then they'd cry because someone dropped the bong. Avenger the (formerly) Evil Clam (ID: avenger_clam) Turned up one day for no apparent reason other than she used to like annoying people, which incidentally is also why she used to sell Amway products. During the asylum incident, she fell in love with Binky and acidentally kidnapped Dan. She is prone to bouts of extremely violent behaviour, such as firing little plastic rockets at people's bums. She also invented the "Orgy for One" kit, which the Amway company then stole the patent for. She is no longer evil after she died to save COD HQ and saw the COAT, then slipped back through the doorway between this world and Nirvana (not the band). Oops. Make that 'she had a brief absence from evil', since she's now evil again after being hit on the head by 'Johhny'. The less said about 'Johnny' the better." The Cardboard Gorilla (ID: cardboard_gorilla) A minor character, the Cardboard Gorilla is occasionally seen participating in secret missions for the CGPS, such as spying on people and looking for a new bong. Virtual Dave (ID: dans_virtual_dave) Every now and then, Yahoo keeps stuffing up and saying people are online when they're not. Once it said Dave was online for three weeks straight, and Dan noticed this and said it must be Virtual Dave, who prompty popped into existence because of the Principle of Dan Non-contradiction. Dan adopted Virtual Dave as his own personal virtual pet, kinda like a Tamagotchi but more brainless and with more imaginitive food. Often heard saying "feed me feed me" to anyone likely to feed it, and most people who aren't.
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