jazzimierz82, DCBWB
Fresh COD columnist and skilled bootlicker.
Double Cheeseburger With Bacon (DCBWB) joined COD back in January, and quickly established himself as a helpless Dan-slave by penning the classic COD poem "'Twas the voice of my Master". Since then, the man has gone on from weakness to weakness. He once cheerfully boasted that his first thought on getting up in the morning is: "What does Dan want me to have for breakfast?" A Fresh COD staffer and author of the "Drone's Guide to Reality" column, DCBWB has also held the titles: COD Art Authority and Criticizer of Hacks like Shakespeare (C.A.A.A.C.O.H.L.S.); Stand-up Theologian; Master of Counter-Intelligence (a position for which he is highly qualified); and Pathetic Passive-Dependent Wimp (receiving a strong personal recommendation from Dan in the last category).
Despite his near-total ineffectuality, DCBWB did once become the omnipotent god of COD, by accidentally swallowing Dan's divinity, which had been left in a jar. After a day of defeating Binky the Evil Elf (by dropping two tons of alphabetti spaghetti mixed with quick-drying cement on him), assigning awards and titles, and demanding erotic massages and sexual favours from a number of drones, he achieved his personal best in incompetence by accidentally giving Dan's divinity BACK to him, and thereby reducing himself once again to complete helplessness.
DCBWB's hobbies include grovelling, bootlicking, and performing crude acts with men, women, farm animals and inanimate objects on Dan's command. Turn-ons: Dan, TOS, Betsy. Turn-offs: Free will, evil elves, preachers named Dick.
| MAIN | COD | NEWS | BIOS | SIGN BOOK |
| INFO | LINKS | PROOF | PICS | VIEW BOOK |