Chapter 2
‘Ok, a chicken just hatched in my hand. I only wish that was the weirdest thing I’ve ever had happen to me.’
Shran and Archer stared down at the little bird creature that had just hatched into Archer’s hand, not entirely sure what to do next. The bird looked neither dangerous, nor overly impressive, even as the downy feathers it had dried out. If anything it looked like a helpless ball of fluff.
‘Lilac fluff.’ Archer noted with some amusement.
“Cheep! Cheep!” The bird got to its webbed blue feet and stared up at Shran and Archer as if it was expecting something. When neither of them moved it began to jump up and down a little “Cheep! Cheep! Cheep!”
“What in the world is it on about?”
“I think it’s hungry, pink-skin.” Shran shifted on his feet and then reached out, gently pushing the chick into his own blue hand. The bird walked around on his hand, head down as if exploring this new area. Archer had to admit it was kinda cute, the image made even more so with the fact that Shran was holding it level with his eyes, staring at it intently, his antennas reaching forwards with curiosity.
‘Wait! Did I just put Shran and cute together?’ Archer shook his head to clear it, saying,
“What would a newborn bird eat?”
“What makes you think it’s a bird? Could be a mammal.” Shran pointed out.
“Looks like a bird.”
“You look like a Betazed, but you're human.”
Archer frowned in confusion, having no idea what a Betazed was, but Shran was already walking to his pack, the chick still cheeping in his hand.
The Andorian dug around in his pack and pulled out something that looked pretty similar to the power bar Archer had eaten earlier. Using his teeth to rip open the wrapper, Shran held it out to Archer.
“Here.”
“Why are you giving it to me?”
“I can’t exactly crumble it up one-handed now can I?”
Archer conceded the point and took the bar, breaking off a small amount and crumbling it up into Shran’s hand while the chick watched him carefully. When he was done the chick began to peck at the crumbs, occasionally nipping Shran’s hand in its enthusiasm.
“Cute little guy, ain’t he?” Archer said, grinning as they watched him.
“Yes, cute until he decides to defecate in my hand.” said Shran, narrowing his eyes at the chick, as if he was daring it to even consider doing that. Archer sniggered at the thought. “Anyway, how do we even know it’s male?”
“Well how do we know it’s not?”
“How the hell should I know?”
“Well, generally when we’re not sure of gender, we say he, rather than it, as it is kinda… unfeeling.”
“As opposed to calling a female a male which is discriminatory and insulting.”
“Well why don’t you check to see if it’s a boy or girl?”
“Why don’t you?”
“Because I have no idea what to look for! I never had a chicken for a pet!”
“Neither have I! I had a wild wumvin but that was a mammal and I didn’t really care what gender it was at the time.”
“Look, why don’t we just say for the time being that it’s a boy and give him a boy name.”
“You want to name him?”
“Yeah. Why not?”
“Is this one of those sentimental human things?”
“Most likely it is! What of it?”
“Nothing… it’s just rather charming.” Shran gave Archer a smirk that made Archer blush. “So… What should we call him?” As he spoke, Shran sat down and let the chick, who’d finished eating, hop off his hand and onto his knee. Here the chick cheeped cheerfully and hopped around. Shran was careful not to let it fall.
“I don’t know. How about Fred?”
“Fred?” Shran looked up at Archer in a rather disgusted way. “Why don’t we just call him Targ? No less horrible.”
“Well what would you call him?”
“Ghee.”
“Ghee? That’s not a name. That’s a word you use when you have no idea what else to say… if you were living in the 1950’s that is. I still think Fred would work.”
“Well I think Ghee would work.”
It didn’t really occur to either man that to a third party this conversation would have been extremely odd considering who was having it.
“He doesn’t look like a Ghee.”
“He’s a purple bird! He doesn’t look like anything but a purple bird!”
“Oh so he is a bird?”
“Well, we’ll assume that for now.” Shran rolled his eyes. Archer sighed and sat down beside the Andorian. They both watched as the chick stared down at the ground and cheeped, sounding anxious at the distance between him and it. Then it looked up at Shran and Archer and waddled up Shran’s leg and pressed against his hip, as if seeking comfort. Shran scooped him up and held him before them.
“What about Ghed?” suggested Archer.
“Ghed?”
“Yeah, Ghee and Fred put together. Ghed.” As Archer said it in a firm tone the chick looked up, fixing them with a beady stare. Shran cocked his head to the side and said,
“I guess that settles it. Ghed it is.”
“Cheep, cheep.” said Ghed, before tucking himself under Shran’s loosely curled fingers and covering his head with a tiny wing, falling asleep. Shran stared at him and then looked at Archer, saying rather blandly,
“I’m going to have to sit like this all night, aren’t I?”
Archer smiled and patted his free hand, “I’m sure I can think of a way to pass the time.”
“Ok, I spy with my little-”
“Pink-skin, before you even start again, there’s nothing but rocks and rock related things to spy so this game is even more pointless than it would be on the surface! Now shut up!” Shran was a very cranky Andorian as the hole they’d fallen down the day before began to show the signs of daylight. He’d been kind enough to stay pretty still, with Ghed, asleep, in his hand all night, but he was getting very sick of Archer’s method of distraction, which involved games he knew where for children.
Archer seemed to deflate a little and he said, “Why don’t you wake him up?”
“Do you wake up a newborn human when they’re asleep?”
“No.”
“Then why do it for a newborn bird? He’ll be chirping and making a racket. I don’t need a headache to accompany this cramp in my hand!”
“Cheep!” Ghed opened his eyes and stared up at them, as if demanding to know why they were arguing and waking him up.
“Don’t look at me like that!” snapped Shran before he could stop himself.
“Cheep!” Ghed shifted in Shran’s hand, as if miffed at his tone, and then went still for a moment. Shran frowned as if he was trying to figure something out. Then Ghed got to his feet and hopped out of Shran’s hand onto his knee, revealing that he’d left a little present behind.
“Oh that’s disgusting!” Shran snarled, glaring down at Ghed. Archer hid a grin as he said,
“Hey, don’t yell at the chickling.”
“Chickling?” Shran looked at Archer like he was going mad.
“He looks like a chick but he’s got legs like a duckling, and he waddles, therefore, he’s a chickling.”
Shran glared at Archer and then said, “I’ll give you chickling!” And he smeared Ghed’s ‘present’ on Archer’s shoulder.
“Ack! Gross Shran!”
“It’s just your jumpsuit! He defecated in my HAND!”
“I don’t care. Your hand is a hell of a lot easier to wash than my jumpsuit! I’m stuck in this for two more days with chicken crap on it!”
“Well next time you hold him for six hours!”
“Fine!”
“Fine!”
Shran got to his feet and Ghed tumbled off his leg to the ground with a shrill cheep. To be fair it hadn’t been a long distance since Shran had had his legs stretched out on the ground, but Archer reacted like the Andorian had thrown the chickling to the ground.
“What the hell’s your problem?” Archer shouted, scooping Ghed into his hand and cupping his hands around him in an attempt to soothe him. Shran ignored Archer as he pulled out his water and used some of it to clean his hand. “You could have hurt him!”
“He’s fine! If he wasn’t he wouldn’t be making such a racket.” Shran scowled at Archer.
“How can you be so cruel?”
“Cruel? I just spent the last six hours holding him in my hand while he took a nap! Besides, it was an accident.”
“You should have been more careful!”
“I was careful! But I wasn’t about to sit there with –what did you call it?- chicken crap? I wasn’t about to sit there with chicken crap on my hand until either you or he saw fit to get him off my lap!”
“Um… cap’n?”
Both men jumped. Trip called a little louder, sounding just as hesitant as before, “Cap’n Archer? Everything ok down there.”
“Um…” Archer looked at Ghed who was cheeping quietly now, looking no worse for the wear for his tumble, and then at Shran who was obviously wondering the same thing as him. Should they tell their officers what was happening? How the hell do you explain to your chief engineer that you’ve become an adoptive parent to a lilac chickling with an Andorian?
“Captain Shran? Are you all right?” called Tholos.
“I’m fine Tholos! What about the team?”
“We’re fine sir. Thon is staying away from the trees.”
“Good. Have you completed the hunt?”
“Yes sir. I believe we have beaten the humans. Just as we expected.” The smirk on Tholos’ face was actually audible.
“Very good. Return to camp and have someone check in with me as the sun sets.”
“Understood sir.”
“Cap’n?”
“Yeah Trip?”
“Do you need anything down there?”
“No, we’re fine for now. Keep me informed of the team.”
“Will I come back at sunset too?”
“Yes, we might go exploring, but we’ll try to be back by then.”
“Aye sir. Have fun.”
Archer rolled his eyes at Trip’s parting words. Ghed cheeped in his hands, looking up at him. “What?”
“Cheep, cheep!”
“Are you hungry?” Archer smiled down at the ball of lilac fluff. Shran rolled his eyes at the human, probably at his sentimentality, but a tiny smile was gracing the blue lips. “I think you're hungry.”
“I’ll get the bar.” Shran said with a light huff, grabbing the item and crumbling a portion of it into Archer’s hand. Ghed hopped in what appeared to be delight and pecked at the crumbs, bobbing up and down as he ate. “So. We’re going exploring again?”
“No offence to Ghed but a whole day with him cheeping will probably make me want to squash him.” Ghed froze and looked up at Archer as if to see if he was serious. Shran rolled his eyes and reached out, stroking the chickling on the back to soothe him. “So I thought exploring would keep us busy. We can make him a little nest and let him sleep.”
“Good idea. Here, I’ve got a fur-lined coat in my pack. I’ll get it. He’d better not defecate in it though!”
“I’m sure he’s learned his lesson. Haven’t you Ghed?”
“Cheep!”
“Do you really think he understands a word you’re saying?”
“He might. For all we know, he could be telepathic.”
“A telepathic chickling?” Shran stared at Archer, as if trying to figure out if he was kidding. Even Archer wasn’t too sure. He certainly had encountered stranger things than a telepathic chickling.
Shran shook his head and went to get his coat. Together they moulded it into a nest like shape and Archer carefully set Ghed in it. Then they stood up and, torches and packs in hand, began to walk away. At once there was a series of shrill cheeps and both of them turned around to see Ghed chasing after them as fast as his little legs would carry him. As he caught up with them he began to run in circles around Shran’s feet.
“Aw, looks like he wants his mummy.” joked Archer, grinning at Shran who gave him the dirtiest look he could muster.
“I’m not staying with him.”
“Well you’ll have to. We can’t bring him with us.”
“Why not?”
“Need I remind you? Madness-inducing Cheeping?”
“And his cheeping won't drive me mad if I stay here with him?”
“You’ll manage.”
“I hate you!” Shran growled, even as he bent over and picked Ghed up. Ghed flapped his little wings in delight.
“No you don’t.” said Archer, patting Shran’s cheek and then as he backed away he said, “Bye Ghed, be good for mummy!”
“I’m going to kill you for that pink-skin!”
Archer just laughed. However he had barely left the cave when more urgent cheeping was heard and Ghed was scurrying around Archer’s feet, cheeping up at him. Shran came up behind him and whispered in his ear, smirking,
“Looks like he wants his other mummy too.”
Archer huffed. Shran continued, still smirking, “Looks like we have two options here…”