Rainy Dayz should actually be the name of this section because that is what school has meant for me this last week. I am sitting in the lobby right now watching everyone run in from the rain. The silly thing is that even though it has rained every day this week, I still see people walking in soaked in shorts and tee shirts with surprised looks on their faces. Come on people! It doesn�t take a genius to look out the window before you leave. Even if they don�t have windows, it was pretty safe to assume it was not sandals weather today. I asked one girl why she didn�t have an umbrella and she said, �I�m from Seattle.� I�m not sure what that means, so I can only guess that people from Seattle don�t shower very often and this is a nice change for her. As I sit here observing, I realize that everyone responds to rain differently. Some are in denial and refuse to let their attire reflect actual weather conditions; some need to wash more and, therefore, don�t bother with umbrellas; some will always complain about rain; some will always rejoice in it; and some will be bored enough to sit and laugh at all the wet people walking in because I�m dry, and I�m telling you, this is funny!
JOKE OF THE MONTH:
The children of a preschool class had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'" A small voice from the back of the room spoke up and said, "And there's the teacher; she's still old and wrinkled"
RANDOM ACTS OF�INSANITY:
Ever heard someone yell Shotgun? What kind of emotions does this word evoke? I know for me it usually makes me mad because I�m not the one who yelled it, which means I�m doomed to sit in the cramped back seat even though my legs are longer than the yeller�s, and in all fairness they should let me have the front�plus, I�m way cooler than they are. However, none of that matters because once Shotgun has been yelled, all reason goes out the window. But what if yelling meant taking a bit of a risk? I mean what if the yeller had to lose something in order to win so-to-speak? A very intriguing idea, but how do we accomplish such a feat? Once upon a time there were some people who pondered this exact question. For time�s sake, I�ll call them M&M. Now, M&M understood that in order to take Shotgun to the next level, they would have to come up with something that would make the yeller somewhat reluctant to yell, thus adding a new dimension to the game. After much contemplation and deliberation, they arrived at a solution. M&M decided that the yeller�s dignity was the only thing big enough to create a risk factor, which meant he would have to yell something embarrassing, causing him to think twice. For them the phrase that replaced Shotgun was I eat poop! So, if a person wanted to claim the front seat, he must be the first to yell I eat poop upon exiting the building (which by the way is a rule that is commonly overlooked in Shotgun: you must be outside before you can yell) or hope to fight to the death at the car. Another interesting addition to the game by M&M was that yelling Shotgun immediately claimed, for that yeller, a place in the back. Because of the advances M&M have made on the game of Shotgun, we can all have a more enjoyable outing experience. Feel free to modify the phrases yelled to your own personal specifications, and continue to allow yourself to be a free thinker. Remember, a game is never perfected, only improved. So grab a car, grab some suckers (I mean friends), then sit back and watch the fun begin.
QUOTE CORNER:
"People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.� -Soren Aabye Kierkegaard
�Guys are dumb.� �Laura Y, Emily K, Brittany E
�It [homework] is like a band aide; if you rip it off real fast, it doesn�t hurt as bad.� �Suzy M
DEEP THOUGHTS:
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
WORDS FROM THE WISE:
Courtesy of my own experiences, I would like to provide you with my very own day-by-day, step-by-step Recipe for the Worst Week Ever:
Day 1:
1) Pick the most important day of your week. This may be your birthday or anniversary. It may even be the day of your big job interview or, my personal favorite, the day of a big test.
2) If at all possible, make sure this day coincides with a bad traffic day. If this factor is an unknown for you, be sure to leave at a time when you know traffic will be busy. If you can manage to be stopped most of the way on the interstate, all the better.
3) Be at least 15 minutes late for your appointment so that you have to run there from your car. If you can manage a terrible parking place it would be a plus.
4) Upon your return home, you should have a crisis waiting for you. This can be anything from a mess in the living room to having the electricity turned off. Remember that this step takes some advanced planning so keep that in mind when picking your day. For this step I suggest not paying the electricity bill or something along those lines.
Day 1 conclusion: One can only take so much.
Day2:
5) Pick another day�preferably the day immediately after�on which you have something important to do.
6) Plan to be late getting up so that you have to rush out looking bad. I suggest �forgetting� to set your alarm. This can also tie into the previous day�s power outage so that it doesn�t seem planned. Be creative.
7) Be at least 10 minutes late, but don�t run today. After all, you are supposed to be �ready to give up� at this point, remember. A bad parking place is optional.
8) To conclude your long hard day, attend a high school football game in the pouring rain. This will not only contribute to your bad day but may also make you sick, which will carry into Day 3.
Day 2 conclusion: Two down, one to go.
Day 3:
9) Pick a leisurely day. Once again, the day immediately after Day 2 is best.
10) Do something relaxing to get your mind off of the last two days. I suggest going to dinner or a movie.
11) Have a disaster happen just as you think the worst is over, just to shake things up again. Locking yourself out of your car or house is always a sure bet. Once again, this step requires planning. Remember, it is supposed to look like an accident so leaving your key in your sock from when you went to the gym earlier is one idea.
12) Finally, be prepared to whine and complain to everyone you talk to for the next week or so. You will be surprised how much sympathy you gain, and in the end your worst week may just facilitate your best!
Day 3 conclusion: Congratulations, you�ve done it!
I have put this recipe into practice, and I can honestly tell you that it works. Of course all the factors are simply jumping-off points, and embellishment is encouraged. I hope these steps will be helpful in coordinating your very own Worst Week Ever.
