A pick-up line is only as good as the receiver because unless it comes across in the manner you intended, you could potentially look like a fool. Allow me to explain: My negative view of pick-up lines can be traced back to the exact moment of this statement, �If you were a booger, I�d pick you.� Now, I am well aware that I cannot speak for every woman in the world, but I know that I personally did not find that an appealing thought. Over the years I have come to realize the value of a well thought-out pick-up line. When used correctly, it can be a very effective tool. A truly inspiring line must contain one very essential quality�it must capture the attention; it must cause the person to think�to wonder and question�long enough for you to step in with your dazzling wit and charm and steal that moment away, along with the person�s heart hopefully. For example, �Excuse me, but there is a spider on your amp� encompasses all of the desired qualities expected in a line. It is interesting, puzzling, and best of all, different. I am willing to bet you have never heard it before. As we all know, a line cannot stand on its own. The pick-up line serves a specific purpose, which is obviously to �pick up.� And while shock, offense, and/or confusion are not the main objectives, they may inadvertently captivate the audience allowing a rapid progression into a stunning personality (which absolutely must be in abundance in order for this technique to be successful). However, at the risk of contracting I-think-I-am-way-more-funny-than-I-am disease, I suggest finding a softer approach. My advice is to find an original phrase suited to you, stray from mention of boogers and the like, and be sure never to wink. A pick-up line can take you far. It is up to you whether you move forward or back.
MY SISTER THE RETARD:
My parents went out of town for two days a couple of weekends ago to attend a wedding, so they left Blake all alone at the house. I could tell my mom was worried because she told me about three times in one conversation that Blake would have her cell phone, so I could call her if I wanted. I wasn�t all that worried because I didn�t think she could get into too much trouble in a matter of two days. On Friday night my cousin stayed over at my apartment, and we decided to call Blake to check up on her. When she answered the phone I heard a bunch of people talking and yelling in the background. I started to get nervous until she assured me that she was not at home. Then she started telling me about how there were these boxing gloves there and how this boy asked her if she wanted to box. Of course she agreed�she�s not the type to turn down a challenge. She said she thought they�d just goof around, but then the kid started really punching her hard. She said, �Dude, I just ate a bunch of gummy bears and I might puke them all over you.� When he didn�t stop, she pretty much beat the crap out of him. She said that she knocked him down and then jumped on top of him and, in her words, �wailed on him!� I said, �So you won?� She said as if I was stupid for asking, �Uh, yeah!� I realize that I don�t have to worry about my sister so much. She is more than capable of taking care of herself! Boys beware.
SAY WHAT?!:
What is with medication disclaimers these days?! It�s like the side effects outnumber the benefits anymore. All I know is that when half the budget for a commercial goes toward the amount of time taken to list what the product �may cause,� one tends to be wary to say the least. Feeling depressed lately? Take one of these pills and be yourself again. Oh, and you should know that it may cause headache, fatigue, nausea, liver cancer, brain damage, heart failure, rapid tooth decay, loss of two or more limbs, maggot infestation, mauling by wild dogs, or death�but at least you will be smiling. Gracious! You need about ten other medications just to counteract the side effects of the one. But these advertisements are clever because they always throw in the �contact your physician to see if ______ is right for you� line. I have to wonder, wouldn�t my physician know what is best for me anyway? And wouldn�t he prescribe that specific medication if it were, in fact, what I needed? So why bother telling me that diet pill may cause anorexia because it only makes me want to quote Billy Madison: �Lady, you�re scarin us!�
SIGN OFF:
-brit
