Some people have weird phobias. Did you know there is actually a name for the fear of getting peanut butter stuck on the roof of your mouth? There is also one for the fear of your knees bending the wrong way. However, I have yet to find the name for the fear of going to the bathroom in the dark. I do know one such person who has this fear, though. For privacy purposes (and to save her some embarrassment) we�ll call her Lhiann. Lhiann doesn�t like to go to the bathroom in the dark. In fact, she is incapable of it. We performed some tests on Lhiann the other day. While she was in the bathroom stall, we turned the light of. Unbeknownst to Lhiann we tested her stress levels and her heart rate before the light was turned off and whilst she was in the dark. We found that both her stress level and her heart rate significantly increased during the time she was in the dark. We waited a while to see if Lhiann would overcome her fear and simply finish her business and come out, but we found that the longer we waited the more her heart rate increased. We decided to end the test when we discovered that Lhiann�s fears were not going to be overcome that day�and she was dangerously close to death. I have never seen someone so happy as Lhiann when we walked into the bathroom to �rescue� her. In conclusion, the only solution for a phobic such as Lhiann is intense emotional counseling and perhaps some shock therapy. If you know someone like Lhiann, encourage him/her to seek help. After all, the first step is realizing there is a problem.
THE DATING GAME: (brought to you by Emily K.)
I was just recently reflecting on the Barbies and Kens of the world (oh and their friends too of course). There really are more of them out there than you might think. But really, I think maybe I'm a little jealous. I mean really, they have it made. They can wake up in the morning and put on a cute little mini skirt and a little tee shirt, and a jean jacket that perfectly accentuates their perfect curves. Then they eat their perfect little breakfasts without spilling a drop, and then they're off to impress the world. They step off their doorsteps and hop in their expensive cars and drive to wherever it is that all the kens of the world are. They get out (of course their hair has only improved by the wind) and immediately a perfectly tanned guy who may or may not have showered in a week, but nonetheless looks great, runs out to meet them. She gives them their allotted amount of attention before she moves on to another, even more handsome guy, beckons with her perfectly groomed finger, and immediately he comes. And these aren't even the geeky guys who are immediately at your side for the rest of your life if you even glance in their general direction. These are the perfectly tanned, don't have to be groomed type. C'mon you know who I mean�abercrombie and fitch in the real world. Anyway, no matter what those barbie girls seem to do or say, they get the guys. Any and all they want, and those geeky ones are too intimidated to bother (which might just be why they are so willing when the rest of us happen to innocently (and often accidentally) look their way). So all of this beauty is only skin deep stuff, and 'yeah but you're not like every other girl' stuff is just a bunch of bunk I think. Sure you have to be at least decently friendly, but if you can pull off the mini-skirt and general fashion, get the guy first and work on personality later, I�m sure he'll wait. I know you know some Barbies. You can't deny it, no amount of uhhh, denying will work. They're out there, and they're gonna get the Kens. Geeky guys aren't so bad after all, they always say the geeky guys are the ones who are gonna be the rich ones, right? Consider Bill Gates. So there you go. This isn't depressing at all. It's full of hope and good cheer. I�m gonna be rich!!
OTHER NEWS:
Watch out for soap, Crisco, and flying eggs. I hear those are really going around this time of year. Be wise, and stay healthy.
Merry Christmas in May!
SIGN OFF:
-brit
