The dreaded Ice Walk! Simply stated, this refers to the sheet of ice covering the walkway on the western side of campus that I have to walk across every day on my way to the music building. The best part about the Ice Walk is not that it is long or extremely slippery. No, the best part is that it is downhill and long and extremely slippery, so if your shoes don�t have excellent traction, a fall is inevitable. For this reason I have worn only 2 pairs of shoes for the last couple of weeks, and if you know anything about fashion, you know that is practically a felony. At the risk of jinxing myself and losing some teeth, I will tell you that I have not fallen yet. I hope to make it through the next day without falling as well. After that we�ll see because everyone knows it is better to fall in the middle of the week than on a Monday or Friday. Less chance of an �incident.� For finishers (how�d you like that one Mr. SAT), every morning as you are walking to your classes safely on your plowed sidewalks or down the carefully swept hallways, say a little prayer for those of us who aren�t so lucky�those of us who have to get dressed in the morning knowing the fate that awaits us�those of us who daily forge the Ice Walk.
JOKE OF THE MONTH:
Q. If a fire hydrant has H2O on the inside, what is on the outside?
A. K9P
RANDOM ACTS OF�INSANITY:
Hypothetically: It�s dessert night at your�oh, I don�t know�your sorority or something. The cook makes two desserts, one in a large, quite humungous really, pan and one in a small, miniscule pan. Everyone has their fill of dessert and disperses from the kitchen. Would it be wrong for you to just take that minuscule pan of dessert upstairs to your room so you and your starving friends can eat it later? Thanks for clearing that up. I don�t think so either, which is exactly why Sandy and I took it! However, it had to be refrigerated or it was just plain sick, so we had to improvise. There is a little strip of roof that hangs out under my window outside. We carefully set the pan out there on top of one of my notebooks so it wouldn�t slide on the ice and shatter on the sidewalk. Unfortunately, we never got hungry enough to eat it that night and it was forgotten until 8am when I thought I heard something crash. I waited for my roommate to go to the bathroom before I checked it out (she wasn�t in on the scandal). Lucky for us, the crash was something else and the dessert was still there�covered with snow. I refused to believe it was ruined and decided it just needed to thaw. I quickly brought it inside and found a place for it on the top shelf of my closet. It sat there for the better part of the day thawing. That night I had a little movie party in my room and I served a delicious dessert saved for a special occasion. No one was the wiser about the snow! Well, until they read this that is.
QUOTE CORNER:
�Hollywood is where they shoot too many pictures and not enough actors.� �Walter Winchell
�Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said �CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT.�� �Dave Barry
DEEP THOUGHTS:
What if the hokey pokey really was what it�s all about�
WORDS FROM THE WISE:
Yesterday was one of those �I need to buy something new� days. It�s a good thing those days don�t come very often for me because when they do I am really quite dangerous. Plus, they usually come because something not so good came first. Regardless of the reason, I was going to buy myself a few things that I wanted, not something functional or that I needed. I set out with Rhiann to do some real damage at the Bozeman mall. It wasn�t until I was making my first purchase that I remembered I hadn�t put any more checks in my purse, and I only had one left. I bought my item (which actually was something I needed rather than the original plan of something fun). I was so angry with myself and couldn�t pull it together enough to be happy for Rhiann and her fleece pants, jacket, and coat! Grrrrr! She had out-shopped me! The minute I got home I put another book of checks in my purse vowing that I would be back to that mall. Oh yes, and next time, I�ll be ready.
Moral: Sometimes you have to slow down and enjoy life�no wait, that was the calendar saying of the day�oh right: Some shop till they drop. Others drop what they shop. But the wise remember to bring checks.
THE DATING GAME:
I wonder if this late appearance of winter will have any effect on Twiterpation, which is usually a spring occurrence. I am starting to see the signs of spring in those love-stricken eyes. It looks as though the snow isn�t going to stop the human hormonal pattern from trudging ahead. Everywhere I look people are breaking up with old boyfriends and hooking up with other people�s old boyfriends or even current boyfriends. Crazy times we live in. What ever happened to the natural simplicity of finding a mate. Like the wild boar waits for his mate in the wood, calling and singing sweet melodies of love that soar in the wind to the ears of the female, who when she hears knows this song is for her. Or what about the wallaby, whose call is so enchanting it strikes all who hear with a sense of peace and security. Unlike stupid humans who don�t call at all! Even if you call them first and they say they�re gonna call you back. What we need is a good solid return to natural simplicity. Either that or we all find some nice wild boars.
BRITTANY�S THOUGHTS ON FORWARDED MESSAGES:
I will admit I got a good one the other day. It was called Before Makeup. It was a few pictures of celebrities caught on camera pre-primping. It�s nice to know that under that mask they really are human. As much as I laughed at the forward (which had a great picture for Michael Jackson*), I can�t say it was worth my time. I�m a busy person, and I already laugh at everything anyway so it�s not like I need to take a break and enjoy the humor in life. However, Sloppy, I must say you have great taste!
MY SISTER THE RETARD:
My dad bought a foosball table over the Christmas break, and it became the ultimate sibling rivalry tool known to sisters. Blake and I played it as much as we possibly could, and since we were both beginners, it worked out great because we stayed at about the same level. That is until one day. Blake was being particularly obnoxious during this game, and as I began to score more and more points and she hadn�t scored any, she crossed the line. Every time she would make a good move or block my shot or do anything really, she would yell, �I got SKEEEEEL!� (That�s skill by the way). At first it was just her over abundance of energy being released, but after she saw its effect, it became a strategy tool to make me laugh and lose my concentration. She began to embellish it a bit as the games went on and I continued to win. For example, she would say, �I got SKEEEEL for Christmas!� or �I�m using what Santa gave me!� or just plain �SKEEEEEEEEEEEL!� After I had nearly busted a gut laughing and beaten her for the 6th game in a row, we decided to call it quits. Now every time we play it�s not quite the same because even if she doesn�t say it, we know we�re both thinking it.
SAY WHAT?!:
Is it possible to be destined to not have ice cream? I never would have thought so before Thursday night. All Sandy wanted was some ice cream, so after the Cat/Griz basketball game (which we won by the way), we went to McDonalds to get a Mcflurry. Sandy ordered it, and they said the ice cream machine had just broken down, which we both knew was a lie and they just didn�t want to have to clean the dang thing. However, we figured there was always the good ol� Wendys frosty, and it was only 2 minutes away. As we were pulling into the drive-through, I said, �You can always count on Wendys. At least we know their machine isn�t broken.� Sandy told me not to jinx it, and she was right because as we pulled up to the window to pay, the girl said that the man in front of us had just taken the last of the frosties and they had no more. Stupefied, we drove away ice creamless and downtrodden. If I hadn�t seen it with my own eyes I wouldn�t have believed it could ever happen. Sometimes destiny can be really cruel.
SIGN OFF:
Only a little over a week left to find me that fantastically perfect birthday present! Good luck!
-brit
*if you�re a forwards kind of person, and I know there are those of you out there, I can probably find the time to share the humor if you let me know�hypocritical as that may be.
