Spring Fever is here. Actually, for me, Spring Fever hit about the end of Christmas break. However, it's officially official now. "What exactly does Spring Fever involve?" you ask. Well, many things are taken into account when considering a diagnosis of Spring Fever. 1. You must stare out of the window for at least 3 hours a day for no reason at all. 2. You must never do any homework earlier than the night before it is due, and even then, you must do it with loud music playing, the TV on, and friends to keep you company of course. 3. You must think of dropping out daily. 4. You must utter the words, "Well, I got a D again. Oh well!" on more than one occasion. 5. You must have a daily line up of activities that you "have to do" in order to avoid doing anything productive, such as, checking mail (5 times a day), checking e-mail (at least 20 times a day), straightening, sleeping, sleeping again, sleeping some more, and eating. If you meet most of these criteria, I'm willing to bet you are suffering from a bad case of Spring Fever. The best treatment, I think, would be to get lots and lots of rest and whatever you do, make sure you don't over exert yourself. This is what I have been doing and I feel I'm well on my way to recovery!
JOKE OF THE MONTH:
Corky
Q. What's better than winning the gold medal at the Paraplegic Olympics?
A. Walking
-submitted by Jessica T.
RANDOM ACTS OF.INSANITY:
My choir went to Billings this week to sing at some of the schools there. Alexia has a major crush on a boy in our choir. She was sitting on the bus when she smelled something rather funky. She thought it might be coming from her, so she leaned down and smelled her armpit. Coincidentally, she did it at the exact moment that this certain boy walked past her. She looked up, and he was standing right beside her with a very strange look on his face. Figuring there was nothing she could say, she just looked straight ahead and acted like the mortifying situation hadn't happened. She later told me, "I've never even talked to him! That was my first impression!" Through much sympathetic laughter, it was decided that she would forever be known as "Pitty."
QUOTE CORNER:
"If it's any constellation, I know how you feel." -Kari W.
**In last issue (#20) there was a misprint in the quote section. The quote was actually by Brent L. not Bent L. Sorry for the typo.**
DEEP THOUGHTS:
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
WORDS FROM THE WISE:
A couple of weeks ago I witnessed a shooting. Yes, someone tried to shoot a duck! I was walking up the sidewalk by the duck pond, and I heard a loud BANG!! I whirled around and gazed into the distance. As I stood there, I pondered about who would dare to endanger my ducks!! These precious ducks, which I spent many a Tuesday feeding and tending. These ducks, which bring joy to young children on warm summer days. These ducks, which put a bit of happiness in the weary souls of passersby. Then with tears in my eyes, I walked toward the pond to ensure that none were injured. As I neared the pond, I peered around yet again trying to seek out the assassin. Then I realized that the loud bang I heard was merely a car backfiring. So, I suppose the moral of the story is: Listen before you leap. Or maybe just don't become so attached to ducks that your life is potentially shattered by loud noises.
THE DATING GAME:
Boy do I have news!! Oh yes! Last Saturday night was the Hapner Formal. I was planning on going, and then I wasn't, and then everyone told me I had to, so I went. It's a very complicated matter. However, I thank everyone who made me go because I had an excellent time (even though I was dateless). Anyway, here I am dancing retardedly because that's how I dance and who should walk in the door? The monkey! Well, of course I spied on him for a while to make sure he wasn't with anyone. Then when I was sure he wasn't with someone (exclusively anyway), I made my move. Okay okay, I had to be persuaded a bit. All right, and I had to rope Gina into asking his friend too, but I asked him to dance! I danced with the monkey! I had the game plan all in my mind-I would dazzle him with my wit by saying something extremely funny (and slightly clever, after all, anyone can be a retard), and he would fall madly in love with me. I'm pretty sure none of those things happened. The conversation basically went like this: "I think I met you once with Jamie." "Yeah, probably. I'm with him a lot. My brother lives on his floor. You've probably seen him. We kinda look alike." "Yeah, I think I have." "Really?" "Yep." "Cool." "Mmmhmm." But hey, I still danced with the monkey, and considering we'd never really spoken before, that's a big step in our relationship!
MY SISTER THE RETARD:
I was driving down the road to my house one day. It was a pretty warm day, and all the snow had started to melt. I love driving through the slush and spraying it everywhere, which is precisely what I was doing on this particular day. Suddenly my sister yelled, "Drive on the other side!! Quick!" I looked at her oddly, but she kept screaming hysterically. Since there were no cars coming, I drove through the slush on the other side. She heaved a huge sigh of relief, so I asked, "What was that all about?" She answered very matter of factly, "The right foot was getting too much." This was all the explanation she gave me, so I simply accepted it as yet another oddity about my sister and let it go.
SAY WHAT?!:
As we all know, Gina talks in her sleep. If you didn't know, you do now. So, one night I was supposed to be studying my Physics, but I was actually drawing pictures of snowboarders. They were pretty good too. One of them was about to hit this totally awesome jump, and.k, that's not where I meant to go with this. Anyway, so Gina had just gotten into bed, and I asked her if she wanted to see my pictures. She said, "Mmmhmm." So I got up to show them to her. She had her back to me, so I said, "Gina! Look." She mumbled, "It's too hot." I laughed a little and said, "Just look." Then I held them in front of her face. She groaned and said again, "It's too hot." I asked her why she didn't just take her comforter off if she was too hot. She responded with, "It's too hot," louder. By then I knew she was sleeping, so I just had a little more fun by asking her if she wanted to see and telling her to look. I told her the story over breakfast, and we both had a good laugh.
