Dangerous things happen in college. That's just a fact. My roommate and I had our "Urban Legend" experience for the year. The following events are true. The names have not been changed because we are innocent (plus, you know them anyway). Last Friday night. My roommate, Gina, was talking on the phone to her brother. The call waiting told her that there was someone on the other line. She switched over, and there was no one there. She got off of the phone, and it rang. She answered it, and it was only someone breathing loudly. They hung up when she asked who it was. They continued to call about every two seconds. This, as you can imagine, got very old very fast. The girls across the hall came over and took turns answering the phone and yelling various things at the pranksters. Finally, the hard breathing ceased and they said (in a distorted computer voice), "You're going to die tonight." Now, as you can once again imagine, this was getting less and less funny as the time went on. The next time they said, "We know where you live." We asked where, and they said, "101A Hapner Hall." Now we were totally freaked out of our minds. We were so scared because we had no idea who they were and how they would know our room number. (I just have to add that our room is on ground level, so when people walk by on the sidewalk, they can see directly into our room-in other words, easily accessible.) The phone continued to ring, and we were too afraid to answer it. Finally, we did, and the voice said, "Look out your window." We finally got up the courage to open the curtains and this was written on our window:
DIE
We screamed and closed the curtains immediately. We were so scared that we almost cried!! (Well, I almost did.) Anyway, we reported it, and an FYI report was sent out. Today, information revealed that a certain can of red paint and a certain paintbrush were found on Gina's old floor. Hmmmm. Could this be the dreadful Katie (Gina's old roommate) wreaking her havoc once again? I think so.
JOKE OF THE MONTH:
Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"
"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!"
RANDOM ACTS OF.INSANITY:
Okay now, the food shwag closes at 7:00pm. Gina was printing photos in the lab and didn't get back until approximately 6:58pm. She hadn't had dinner, but I figured that with two minutes left, we could probably make it there in time to at least eat some cereal. We headed over, got our cereal, and sat down. Just as I was about to take a bite of my cereal (which I really really wanted), Gina gasped and yelled, "'Ally McBeal!!'" Suddenly, I remembered that it was Monday-"Ally McBeal" day! "And it's seven!" I screamed. *Brief explanation: We always watch "Ally McBeal" on Mondays. It's like a tradition. In most circumstances, dinner would be more important. However, this week's was a continuation, so it was vital that we see this episode.* We were literally torn. There is a TV in the food service, so we resolved that if we ask nicely, maybe everyone would let us watch our show. We stood up to walk over to the two boys watching the TV. But, upon closer observation, we discovered that it was not just these two boys who were watching the TV, but the entire room was filled with males, who were all sitting on one side of the tables and seemed to be completely enthralled. We reasoned that they probably wouldn't be too excited about watching "Ally McBeal." Still, precious time was wasting. Finally, we decided that we could not miss it even if it meant not eating. We took off running. We ran as fast as we possibly could through the cafeteria, past the coat rack, across the incredibly icy street, up the even icier sidewalk, into Hapner, down the hall, and into our room. I began to frantically change channels until I found it. We smiled at each other, sat down, and watched our show. The world was right once again. We did wonder later, though, what everyone thought about us tearing through the food service. I told Gina that this will forever be known as: "The 'Ally McBeal' Incident!"
QUOTE CORNER:
"Better to be a sheep all your life than a lion for a day." -BrittanyE.
"Better to be a lion for a day and maybe kill yourself than be a stinky ol' sheep and get shaved once a year. Think about it." -Aunt Cinda
"I'm full, but it's like a good kind of full. It's like I'm full of good things!" -Gina C.
"Since when is glow-in-the-dark a color?" -Brent L.
WORDS FROM THE WISE:
It snowed here in Bozeman. It snowed quite a lot. I like the snow. However, I do not enjoy walking across campus on the extremely icy sidewalks. I had to give myself at least five extra minutes to get everywhere just because of the stinking ice. Monday morning I was doin' good. I had made it almost all the way to my first class (which, incidentally, was as far away from my dorm as it could possibly be). Then I hit the hill. One long hill stood between me and Howard Hall. I stopped for a minute to brace myself. Finally, I started down the hill. It was slow going, but I was doing all right. People were whizzing by me on both sides. I began to slide a little, but I caught my footing. A boy on a skateboard sailed in front of me. A girl on a bike swerved around me. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a duck waddled in front of me. I barely missed it. Ahhhh. The worst was over. I could see the street. I decided to finish the home stretch by following the girl in front of me, who seemed to be doing much better than I. I obviously spoke too soon because almost immediately, her feet slipped on a patch of ice, and her entire body went flying up in the air. She landed flat on her back, arms and legs sprawled out all over the place. I decided not to walk behind that girl anymore. She obviously didn't know how to walk on ice. I looked at her in pity thinking to myself, "Is it really that hard? I mean, come on. Let's be reasonable." I walked safely across the street and into my building, whistling all the while. The moral: If you're going to fall, at least make sure no one is behind you.
THE DATING GAME:
What classifies a bisexual anyway? Is it listening to so-called "Man hating music?" Is it being confident in yourself? Is it having a nose ring or pink streaks in one's hair? No!!! It is none of these things, so stop accusing my poor Gina of being one.
SAY WHAT?!:
Gina quotes (taken completely out of context):
"Brittany, will you close me in my closet?"
"I was just taking pictures of myself."
"Let me smell your armpit!"
"What is Salvador Dali doing under the bed?"
OTHER NEWS:
Rumor has it that people have been taking chairs from Johnstone's lounge. If you see this activity taking place, report it immediately. We can have no more of this! It must stop!
-brit
