I haven't really given it much thought, about how I might not be able to adjust to life overseas. I expect to some extent a culture shock, but I've always believed that I would be able to handle it. I mean, I can cook, I know how to do housechores and more importantly, I like potatoes. Hahaha..

However, now that I think of it, I won't be able to make it!

First of all, I can't really cook. I don't really cook very often, so those few times that I actually cook, something will always go wrong and the end product is either overcooked, too salty, or something. They're edible, but I don't like my own cooking. Plus, the university where I'm going to doesn't really have a very big chinese population and seriously, I know how to cook chinese cuisine, but not without the chinese ingredients.

Secondly, as my mom has very rightly pointed out all the time, I am a lazy bum. I do house chores only when I have to, like when my mom's screaming into my eardrums. Left on my own, if I had asthma, I would have killed myself by now. Thank god I have 4 pairs of jeans too. My dad used to say how he'd wear his jeans for 2 weeks before washing them. That means...2 months of not washing clothes for me! Hahaha...

Lastly, I am not as responsive to western cuisine as I thought I am. I like pizza, but only Hawaiian pizza. I hate anchovies, red/green peppers, onions...ingredients far too commonly found on pizzas for my liking. I don't like beef, I don't like chicken with bones, but chicken fillet is normally not tender enough. I can eat fish, but I can't eat fish and chips all the time. I like potatoes, but I'm trying to cut down on that, cos they're really too high in carbohydrates for my own good. Or my waistline, for that matter.

As I was eating the rice dumplings my grandmother made, I was thinking,"Hmm, I don't know how to make this. I won't get to eat this anymore over the next 4 years at least!" Argh. Freak out. I really don't know what a typical US menu looks like, but the people I know studying there aren't really supportive of the food there. I think most Singaporeans find it difficult to give up their favourite chicken rice, laksa, nasi lemak, fishball noodles, roti prata..blah blah blah...

Not to mention how I have become rather dependent on a few brands of food I have to have. I've just found out that the brand of milk that I drink is Singaporean, which means I won't be able to find it in US, which means I won't drink milk anymore, which means my spine will break into a million pieces the minute I fall down, which means I will DIE!!! argh....

Yes, I am freaking out very badly, and I have not yet mention how much I'm going to miss my family, my friends, my bed, my computer. It's going to be tough starting afresh in unfamiliar foreign land. Am I going to make new friends? Will they like me? What if they don't like me just like the way my primary friends didn't like me? What if I appear too quiet and they assume I really am quiet and I will have to spend all 4 years brooding in my room? Will these 4 years bring me fond memories or will they remind me of loneliness and pain? Argh...

I sound hysterical, but don't worry, I'm handling this. I'm trying to control my breathing now...which reminds me, what if I don't like the air there??!