030702, 1703hr, central time

i finally managed to talk to my dad this morning when i called home. my mom's not home though, so it's close to a month since i last heard her voice. sigh. anyway, my dad's so cute. when my little bro passed the phone over, my dad put on this gangster voice, and kinda shouted, "who are you looking for?" i said, "laopa? well, i'm looking for this handsome man called laopa. do you know him? maybe i have the wrong number..." hahahahahaha...[laopa is what i usually use to address my dad, by the way.]

i think my dad's trying to talk like my mom though, because out of the blue, he suddenly asked me about alvin. hmm. he's never talked to me about my relationships before, it's always been mom. so i didn't say much, i just told him that alvin's in singapore, and that he wasn't in singapore when i was, which was why we couldn't meet up. my dad said something funny about that, i don't remember what he said anymore, but the topic just went by with us both laughing. and i'm glad it did. cos honestly i don't know how i can explain the present situation to him. or my mom even, actually. hmm. i don't know. i think my mom will support my decision, but she also worries that i'm setting my standards too high.

and after my dad insisted on cutting the call short because it's too expensive, i managed to squeeze in a few words with my brother. he finally decided that he really wants to sign on with the airforce, against my advice of waiting till after he finishes his bmt, he's already sent the application in. dang this boy is impatient! oh well, it's his decision, i guess i will support it. it's touching though, to hear him speak so enthusiastically of his future, with such passion, telling me what he'll have to do to get the scholarship, the benefits, the difficulties, the alternative plans. it does look like he has great hopes for himself, and he's willing to work hard to achieve his goals. such a strong boy now.

i wouldn't have called this morning, under normal circumstances, because i actually hadn't finished studying for my exam this morning. but i really just felt like it. i felt like it, easy as that. besides, i think i needed it too, to listen to these familiar voices. there's something comforting about calling home, and getting someone on the phone, excited to be talking to you. maybe i'm guilty for not calling more often, hence their relative excitement, but i do believe they like hearing from me, as often as possible.

i've not decided what i want to do with that one month window between the end of my tokyo program and the beginning of my semester in uiuc. maybe i'll go home after all. hmm.