240502, 2130hr, singapore time.

it's not really my fault i can't update these days. i've been quite busy - going out with my friends. i didn't realize how many people i've promised to meet, within this short period of time. on one hand, very glad to see my old friends, on the other hand, been too busy to really really relax the way i had envisioned myself to. [i have a craving for some time to stare into blank space in my room, but these days i come home so dead tired i can't even keep my eyes open long enough to *stare*.]

i'm leaving for shanghai tomorrow morning, i won't be back till a week after that. there wouldn't be any updates here, but i'm probably gonna keep a paper journal on the trip, just to keep my mind moving. these few days when i've not been updating, it's not that i didn't have things to say, but i simply didn't have the energy to write after coming home late at night. and then poof the ideas and feelings are gone by the next day. it feels like a waste of my days...so i guess i should keep some kind of record, no matter what.

i have to record this though. this still brings a smile to my face: yesterday, i was sitting in a fastfood joint, waiting for a friend. i had my headphones on, listening to one of my many new CDs, and reading a book. i looked up from my book for a while to rest my eyes, and suddenly out of the corner of my eyes, i saw a pair of huge eyes staring at me. these big adorable eyes belong to this little chinese boy, maybe he's about 3 years old, and he was holding a piece of half-eaten french fries, but he wasn't chewing, he was simply staring at me, and the book i was reading. hahaha. for at least 30 seconds, we were just looking at each other, i didn't take off my headphones, i didn't really talk to him, i just made funny noises at him. he's absolutely the most adorable kid i've seen!

over the next 10 minutes, i found out that he likes toy trucks, his father is very kind - gave me an okay sign when i kinda looked at him to ask for permission to play with his son - he doesn't have front teeth at all, so he bites on his french fries in a funny way, he likes his fries very much and doesn't like to share them, but he's okay with sharing his toy truck. he also likes sitting on the floor, especially when his dad doesn't like it. i got him to stand up, by asking for his truck. his arm was too short to reach me, to pass me the truck. after that, i gave his toy truck back, and i finally spoke to him [i didn't know if he knew more english or chinese, so i just took a chance and i spoke english.] i said, "say thank you?" and through his full mouth of fries, the boy grinned, and shyly said, "thank you." soon, he finished his meal, so has his dad, so they were going to leave. the father was quite nice, he was actually waiting for me to finish playing with the boy. oh, but i could't stop! he's so so so cute. finally, i had to let him go, so he went with his dad. i looked at him jump and skip into his dad's legs [haha] after which his dad picked him up, and the kid gleefully waved goodbye to me as they left. gosh, my heart melted. such an adorable child.

it's an open secret by now, my maternal instincts are so active now. i can't help but notice all the children, on the bus/mrt, in the streets, my relatives' kids. sigh. i wish i can have my own kids, yet on the other hand, i have no similar craving for a husband. hahah.

swoon swoon. i really love kids. so cute. even the scrawny awkward 11 year olds, i find them adorable, so it's not just the big eyed babies. i remember a phase i went through, crazy about caucasion kids. but now, i like asian kids so much better.

one day, one day i shall have lots of children. one day.