Other than that, I actually also found the energy to start organising outings or gatherings for my friends. Actually I should say, my hwachong friends. Frankly speaking, I wonder why the discrepancy, but I play very different roles in my very different groups of friends.

Like I have told the psychologist I was talking to as part of my scholarship, with my rgs friends, I am extremely passive. I wait for people to call me for reunions, I let them do all the organising, while I just hop on at the right time to enjoy their companionship. I know how stressed being the organiser can be, like for the coming rgs class reunion, practically everybody is running overseas for holidays and we cannot even agree on a date, not to mention people who completely do not respond to the emails. But did I do anything to help Jackie the organiser? Nope. Guilty me...

I also know how stressed Po Chin is, dealing with our Canada trip. I'm actually amazed at how detached I am with this trip. She was the one checking the airlines, applying for visa, planning for accommodation blah blah blah....I don't actually do anything but complain how expensive the tickets are. Until that night when we were discussing what things to bring along (yes, right down to what clothes to wear,) I didn't really feel the sense of anticipation that she was feeling. Guilty me again...

Not to mention the arts festival village event that we were supposed to go together with my rgs clique. Somehow, I felt quite sorry that the turnout was quite pathetic. Besides that two of my friends would be away for a holiday in Tokyo, the rest of us also have all sorts of things going on, like there's a rjc drama performance where Ming will be helping out, plus I have to go to the hwachong homecoming carnival with my classmates. I'm okay with rushing over, but I wonder if the rest of us are actually that keen on this festival village thing.

Guilt is all over my mind whenever I think about these events coming up, solely because I didn't play any part in the planning while I get to enjoy the outcome of somebody else's efforts. [Thanks, Poach.]

Yet, it is totally different with my hwachong friends. Somehow, most of the time, I play the role of the organiser. Not so much when I was working, probably because I'm more inclined to sleep my time away then rather than call people [argh] to ask them out. Most of the time, Agnes and Yingxuan are the people organising outings. But now that I'm bumming around, I have plenty of time to think up of new ideas for outings, to actually psych myself into picking up the phone to call and to have the energy to handle all the hassle.

That's probably the reason why now I feel competent enough to organise the class reunion on Sunday for the homecoming carnival, and for the hwachong grand dinner. I feel so proud of myself.

Of course, most of the time, I'm not a very good organiser anyway. I just go with the flow of what everybody wants, before finally coming up with the final decision based on what I want. hehe. It has to be timed to be at the very last moment, so that most people cannot protest in time. Hahahaha....kidding..

I forgot what the point of today's entry is, but I feel good babbling on like this.