030402, 1735hr, central time.

i'm in an exceedingly good mood right now. actually i felt like crap just an hour ago, but now, i'm pratically on top of the world.

first of all, my exchange application is finally complete. i finally barged into the study abroad advisor's office yesterday [he was on leave on monday] and literally begged him to accept it. i showed him all my completed forms, explaining to him how i intended to hand in the application in february but was delayed by unforeseen circumstances and everything. at first he was really reluctant to accept it, because he wasn't sure if the chicago office in charge of this program would accept it, but i showed him one part of the application which said that people who submit the application late would have to pay a late fee or something, which probably means that they would accept it, only at a charge. so the advisor shrugged his shoulders and said, "yeah, just hand it in then. i'll send the application to chicago for you." and that was it...that was the end of my agonizing application process. i'm still keeping my fingers crossed though, there's been too much turbulence in this process for me to imagine it being smooth sailing from now on. fingers crossed. and what the heck, let's cross my toes too. haha.

but that's not why i'm so happy now, really. i felt more relieved than happy, to complete the application, and in knowing i'm tried my best to push through with it, and it is out of my hands, if they finally decide to reject my application, there's seriously nothing more i can do about it. so yeah, the exchange program thing is more like tentatively happy, hugely relieved.

so why am i so darn happy? because i am going home! home home home!

yes, i just bought my air tickets back to singapore. i don't have much time at home though, cos i have to come back to campus for summer school. but, nonetheless, i have just a little bit more than 3 weeks, which is definitely too little time, but shall be enough for now. maybe i will go home from japan too, at the end of this year, i don't know. but at the very least, counting down 6 weeks to going home! omigod, i cannot believe it myself.

i was actually quite hesitant at first whether i should buy the air ticket now, because i'm still waiting for approval from psc for my summer school, and if i'm not coming back here for summer school, i would naturally rather get an itinerary that will let me stay in singapore the whole summer. so i was thinking maybe i should wait a little longer for psc's confirmation of approval. however, i heard from li that air tickets back to singapore now are crazily expensive. and actually they are, i got quite a shock, when i need a search online for the airfares, higher than usual. i guess summer is simply a popular season for flying, and usually air tickets will only get more expensive as time passes. so then there's a dilemma, should i wait?

then i was also thinking, considering i'm going to japan next semester *fingers crossed*, it would be a lot cheaper for me to fly home from japan than from illinois. but then again, i might also decide to stay for a little longer in japan after my exchange program, and my family usually goes on a tour somewhere at the end of the year. so that might not be a good time to fly home. and then, considering the cost of living in tokyo, i should probably try to save up a little more to spend there, not very wise to blow a thousand dollars off for 3 weeks in singapore. so then it's a different dilemma altogether, should i go home now? or should i wait till december? or should i just bear with it and not go home at all, since i'm graduating next spring anyway?

so, in summary the cheapo cindy says, "don't go home this summer, it'll be cheaper to just spend the time here on campus. if you're really desperate, then fly home in december, stupid!" but the homesick cindy says, "are you sure you can last till december? and money is not a big problem for you now, is it? you don't have to spend all that much in japan, if you eat less and don't buy silly useless things!"

ah, so confusing, i couldn't decide.

but you know what? i'm decided now. i found a good deal online, only about USD700 for a flight home, which is half of most other prices i found, so i'm took it. the cheapo cindy can shaddup now, because i know i shouldn't let $700 stand in my way to going home. and i don't think psc should have any reason to not let me stay for summer school, except that i have already done summer school before. not that i know of any restrictions on the number of times one can stay for summer school either, actually. so i think i should just buy the air ticket now.

so there. i'm going home. and i'm going to japan *still crossing 'em* i suddenly feel so blessed. and so relaxed - i have plans now! if all things go well, i will be going home for about a month, then back on campus for summer school for about 2 months, then about 3 weeks to dilly dally around before my exchange program starts, then go crazy in japan for 4 months, and have a month to dilly dally before coming back to uiuc for my final spring semester. and that's if all things go well. and if anything screws up, ie if either my summer school or exchange program falls through, at the very least, i'm going home! gosh, saying it makes me feel good already. let me say it a few more times.

i'm going home going home going home going home.....

yes, i guess down to it all, i still want to be near my family. life is beautiful after all. *beam beam beam*