310102, 2314hr, central time.

i have to continue talking about the cohabitation thing, because it's really sticking in my mind. and *someone* is bugging me.

usually, i don't really care what people think of me, because i feel that though i'm not exactly the most conservative person on earth, i am ruled by fairly strict principles - principles that my parents instilled in me, since i was young. of course, they would never advocate the premarital sex part, but they did say, do not do anything that you know you will regret. and my mom did say, a girl can either give away or lose her virginity. big difference. and i always wanted to make sure that when i make a decision that's so permanent, i will not regret it, and that i know exactly what i'm doing.

so i will always stand by what i do, and what i say. unless i was drunk, or was in one of my bimbo moods, i don't usually argue about something that i don't believe in. especially when it's a moral issue as important as this. something that bears such significance in the way my life goes, in the way i conduct myself. this is something that i've been thinking about, since secondary days. plenty of people around me are sexually active, it's something that i could also engage in, if i had wanted to. and somehow, in my gut, i knew that even if i were to do it, or to not do it, i had to prepare for the decision, to know the exact reason behind the yes or no. truth be told, my stand hasn't changed since i was 17, it's not a flimsy impulsive frivolous declaration. so please, if you think i'm saying all these to appear cool hip and liberal, you're wrong. if you think i'm saying all these to make excuses for people who have disgraced their families, i say you're crazy. most of all, if you think i'm making excuses for my own loose immorality, i say you go to hell. you stick by your set of morals because people tell you to. i stick by mine because i truly believe.

so please, don't come step on me, just cos i'm saying something you don't like. just fuck off.

***

i feel like i'm such a hypocrite, for first saying i enjoy readers sharing their thoughts, then now getting pissed off by one of them. but it's just not a fair kind of sharing, when the other person's not ready to suspend his beliefs even for a little while, to hear what the other side has to say. humph. bleah.

***

and i have to stop talking about alvin. [for real this time.] i mean, i will still mention him, of course, he's a big part of my life right now. but i cannot talk about him anymore - no more alvin-is-so-sweet entries, not more my-cohabitation-with-alvin entries. i don't think he's likes it. oh well. i'll just concentrate on swooning about my sensei then. hahaha.