261001, 2342hr, illinois time.

i actually wrote an entry out yesterday, while bumming around during my tutoring shift. [i tutor once a week, as part of my initiation process for tau beta pi.] but i got interrupted, by this girl who needed help with chemistry. argh, the evil polar bonds, and molecular structure/shape/blah, that haunted me and my students in hwachong. haha...brings back some memory, explaining the same things, 3 years later, to a different person, in a different country. hmm.

but cos i got interrupted, i couldn't continue writing now, the inspiration's gone. so today, i deleted that entry.

serendipity was wonderful, knowing what a sucker i am for the concept of destiny, hardly surprising i loved the show so much. i loved the cinematography too. makes me want to go back to new york - sometimes, all that a city needs is a personal story, to become the most beautiful place ever. of cos, my story doesn't belong in new york, but it's intriguing to me, that it's probably the place for so many people - a place full of kooky east village people, shrewd wall street people, anyone and everyone. wow. i think of all the cities i've visited, new york is a city i definitely want to go back to again. and san francisco.

apparently quite a number of people liked my entry on destiny here. i think everyone has a concept of their own, regarding the issue. some people are just dead skeptical about the whole possibility of there being fate typing people together, while some people believe in the strength of predestined love. i used to be the latter, i used to believe that destiny [in the romantic sense] is about finding him, and the way to tell he is the one, will be the way everything falls into place naturally, weirdly and simply. i was, and maybe still am, obsessed about the idea of having fireworks and whatever wonderful things just click into action once the right guy appears. and so i waited. and waited. and waited. and along the way, dumped a couple of guys who simply weren't the ones, cos i felt like it was too much work.

and then a month back, writing that entry, i guess i accepted the fact that destiny isn't about waiting for him, it's about opportunities and grabbing the moment. yes, fireworks and all that happens, but it doesn't just happen. they happen only if you're willing to be out there, in the dark, to see them. if your head is tilted upwards to look. if you are at the right place at the right time. at that time, i was lamenting at my inability to do any of those, i've gotten so used to my pathetic lonely life in the basement, building a fortress around myself, i was sure even if the elements were right, i would be the crucial failing factor in everything.

and that was a month back. let's call it the pre-alvin times.

alvin is the best thing that has happened to me, in a long time. have you ever looked at someone, and been amazed by the invisible and yet very tangible feelings of closeness, tenderness and dare-i-say-the-word love?

alvin said the sweetest thing ever today. [yes, i've given up not talking about him here. damn it.] he asked me if i would return with him to the states after i finish serving my bond in singapore. see, 1) we've been together for barely more than a week. 2) we've known each other for only 2 years, and it's gonna be another 2 years before i even start serving out my 6-year bond. isn't it a little premature to talk about plans 8 years into the future? i would normally have freaked out, if any of my ex-es did this to me. but this time, it just seemed so incredibly sweet, that he was going to return to singapore after he finishes his masters, cos he knows that i have to. though what he really wants is to stay in the states, where there are more opportunities for him. it's not logical for him to go back to singapore, seeing how much beneficial it would be for him to stay here, but he seems pretty sure he will, cos i will. gosh. i can never quite tell what this guy thinks about, sometimes. he may seem like the most childish and simple spirited guy, but he continues to amaze me with who much thought he puts into issues that are really important to him. such as me? wow. wow. wow.

have i already mentioned he's the best thing that's happened to me?