201001, 0750hr, illinois time.

i'm going to call home later. i'm wondering if this time when my mom asks me if there's anything to report to her, i should actually mention him. what should i say? "mommy, i have a boyfriend." "mommy, a silly boy wants me to be his girlfriend." "mommy, can i come home?" hmm. what should i say?

of course, that's just one of my many superficial considerations. what would my family think? [my parents will be thrilled, my brothers will demand more information, out of disbelief.] what will my friends in singapore think? [probably wondering how i manage to skip from one guy to another so quickly.] the uiuc bunch? [it's about time he wins cindy's heart, maybe?] what would that cute guy think? ["damn, i came too late." hahahaha...right..]

more importantly, what am i thinking? after the initial shock wears off, how do i feel? i guess i'm not scared anymore. he says that he will take care of me, that he will not bully me [after which he added cheekily, it doesn't mean i won't tease you when necessary. hmphf. ] sigh. even E didn't say all that to me, these were words i didn't think anyone would ever say to me, cynical cindy thinks no one could say these words without sounding phony. but he did, and actually he sounds just fine. the way any awkward nervous guy would sound like, trying his best to pacify a neurotic pessimistic me.

i still flinched a little when he tried to hold my hand crossing the street. [why do guys always use this trick? grr. they don't realise it's a traffic hazard. haha.] still felt a little strange when he told me things that he said he would only tell someone he likes. felt a little embarrassed telling another friend not to wait for me, because i was already meeting someone else. felt like digging a hole in the ground when she probed a little and asked, "someone special?"

sigh. feels so weird. i have someone special now.