181001, 2250hr, illinois time.

funny how easily and quickly one can slip and fall into the sadness again. especially when she is ill. *cough*

i've been a bad person. i've skipped two morning of political theory because i couldn't wake up. today was supposed to be the day when we get our exam papers back too, so i really wish i had dragged my pathetic butt out of bed this morning. sigh. this is not a class that i'm feeling confident in by the way, so having missed classes of precious knowledge is very dangerous. plus, i actually liked the readings on John Locke, i really wanted to hear what the professor and TA has to say about him, so i'm very unhappy that i missed those classes. very very unhappy. though theoretically since there aren't any more exams for this course, but just two essays to write, there isn't any sense of urgency. just disappointment with my irresponsibility i guess.

i also haven't been doing my homework the way i had planned to. been feeling too lethargic to finish up that essay i started 5 days ago. sigh. talk about inertia. these days, i just come home, eat dinner, bum around, run over to krannert - depending on whether i have ushering - and then come home to sleep. such a bum. terrible me.

*cough*

i don't know what's come over me. i feel so troubled, because i think i am not doing what i know is right. i have gone back on my word, my will and i'm losing my mind. i'm lost. and confused