290901, 0155hr, illinois time.

you know, this is your journal, you can say whatever you want. it's so easy for you to be whining about your problems. but really, what problems? sheesh.

so, there's a guy who likes you. and you perhaps like him too but you rejected him because you got chickened. and now you miss him. well, call him! what's the big problem? you've been known to do more forward things than that. making a call is nothing. he would appreciate that, surely. after all, you guys could talk. babbling on the phone with him in singapore has always been so easy. so what's so different now? he knows what you're thinking. he says he understands. he seems fine, from the emails. now, it's perfectly normal to miss someone you used to be close to. it's normal. what the hell are you feeling so guilty for? sheesh.

and sure, you screwed up your exams. that happens once in a while, everyone has to go through that, you're a lucky bitch who had it easy the whole way through. it's already pretty late in your academic life that you're experiencing failure. don't you realise how lucky you are already? and what's that about you being stupid? you know for sure you're not! you know that, don't you? stop moaning and groaning like your world is going to end if you fail this course. stop extrapolating every little thing into a momentous turn in your life. besides, you've never been that particular about grades anyway, you know it's not everything. it doesn't have to make up such a huge part of your self-esteem. how pathetic is that? like you're not already pathetic enough, making people sit through your babblings about your supposed troubles.

i mean, who the freak cares if you're going through emotional turmoil. in fact, what emotional turmoil. sounds more like pms to me. there're no real problems, you're just making them up! making mountains out of a molehill. you histrionic people are just disgusting. one little bump in your path, and you whine for days about it. sheesh. get a grip girl! get a grip! there're more important things in life that you have to leave your eyes clear and open for. if you keep on bawling your eyes out like that, you're going to miss out! and then when you miss out, don't you dare come running back to your little hole in the wall and whine about how you always lose out. life isn't a drama unless you choose to make it so, you know.

life isn't all about you, you know. it's not that microscopic.

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i know, i know.