But otherwise, I feel great. The sense of security. The feeling that I am no longer hanging in mid-air, waiting for people to hang a net below me...Yes, this feels damn good.

Still, I know that in the past, I have overestimated myself. I am trying not to crack my brain trying to figure out why the universities find it so easy to reject me while the scholarship board apparently likes me so much the offer is far ahead of the others. I mean, I just have this nagging feeling that I would appreciate the recognition from Stanford far more than from a local scholarship board. Hmm..

Or, it might just be one of the psychology things like the richer people are always the ones to advise the poor that money is not everything. Hmm...I wonder..

Po Chin just had an entry about how people might be happier if they don't think so much and just accept the divine plan or something. OK, I have always felt that smarter people are less likely to be happy. I think I would choose to be happy rather than smart.

I've just realised how important the sense of security is to me. That I will be okay, that everything is going on as planned, that nothing extraordinary is going to happen. I mean, I like spontaneity too, but it's too stressing on the heart. Yes, I have also just realised I am a boring person. Haha..

Otherwise, I am okay. Thank you to all the friends who have very nicely called or emailed to ask if I'm ok. Thanks a lot. I needed the support. =) Sniff...so touched...hehe..

I'm going to US!!! ...erm...I hope anyway..=)