| 1515hr
Feeling... sleepy Eating: chicken burger Reading: Consultations on The Virtual Museum of Canada. Surfing: ex-ACS-gep-NJC guy who might know marc, my first crush. hahahahaha... Listening: [computer] nothing, want some peace and quiet for a day.[discman] nothing. no battery. Happiness of the day: finally activated my MITA email account [one week before i finish my attachment. sheesh.] and found out that addy has emailed me! hahah. Event of the week: going jurong bird park [finally] this saturday. going to malacca with my family wasn't as fun as i thought it would be. but i guess it was a good break from things in singapore. i'm sure some great person has a quotation somewhere about how travelling relieves one's mind of trivial troubles. or something like that. my mom didn't realise that i have just about 5 more weeks in singapore. she exclaimed, "but we haven't talked yet!" she meant the heart to heart talks like the ones we had last summer. she's probably thinking of asking me about my romantic life. which might be why i subconsciously don't want to talk to her. not about that. i have problems telling my mom about things that really matter. things that trouble me. it just seems easier telling her the funny stories, telling her the silly stuff. i didn't tell her about ws, despite being tempted to do that, so many times. that can be explained by the fact that she had actually discouraged me from getting involved with anyone during JC days anyway. so there was a need a hide. this time, she's actually quite concerned why i'm not attached, and yet i'm not telling her about the new guy either. i don't know why. i just don't want to. i think eventually, i would pop the news to her only when i'm about to get married. and then my fiance can tell her, "auntie, actually we've been together for 10 year." hahahahaha...that would be so funny. hahaha.. i'm sure she suspects something, just like she also knew there was something fishy about ws too. of course, by now, she knows. i'm very sure she's looked through my boxes of love letters. vaguely embarrassing, but i refuse to dwell on it. at least when i was completely single, i could talk so freely with my mom. bitching about how silly guys are, how irritating the others are. or about how the good ones are already taken. [to which, she would say, "then just wait lah, maybe they'll break up leh." optimistic mommy.] it's so easy talking to her then, just about moaning and groaning about how she's giving me too much pressure to find a guy. all in name of "girly" fun, of course. now, i don't want to talk about it. problems seem smaller when less people know about it. sweetness seems more unique when not subjected to scrutiny by experienced mommy too. maybe this stems from my insecurity. why get all excited over something that might disappear once you blink. better just be quiet about it. so for now, mom and i just indulge in the other "girly" [can i describe it this way?] activity - shopping. did i mention how this pair of heels is killing me? my mom's going to say i told you so. bleah. | |