| 0040h [110601]
Feeling... tired Happiness of the day: uncle bought some coconuts for us, so I had some. I love coconut. Hee. Event of the week: www.com this Friday I think about a lot of things these days. Besides about my mom and the guy. But for the rest of the 24 hours, I think about some pretty weird things. I think about keeping a dog. I saw a woman with a dog that day, at the wet market, and the dog was simply the cutest thing I've seen. I want a dog, I really do. I won't even mind clearing his shit for him. Bathe him. Brush his teeth for him. All the dirty work, I won't mind. I still miss my dog Kopi...the one that died of old age diseases. Other than the times of walking him, and the scene when we left him in the hills to die, I don't have much memories of him. But I know I loved him so much. Maybe it's not fair to say this, but I want another dog, and I want to make sure I will be with him even when he dies. Of course, this is only a fantasy of mine, because I can't get a dog now, since I'll be in the States for only 2 more years. Even after I come back to Singapore, I still won't be able to keep a dog, cos I will be staying with my parents, and I don't want to have them put up with me keeping a dog when they are so against having an animal in the house. So the only time when I can keep a dog is when I have my own place. ie when I get married. I think I should pose this question everytime I go on a first date now: "Do you like dogs?" * * * I also think of money stuff. How much money will I have when I'm 30? Of course, 30 is my self-imposed deadline, that I need to get married by then, remember? And knowing how much it costs to have a wedding, not to mention start a family, surely I can't expect my husband to cough up that whole sum. Unless he's freaking rich of course. But I doubt I would marry someone with so much money. So hmm. How much money would I have? How much should I save every month now, so I can have enough then? How much salary should I expect to get? What am I actually doing? [My bond with the government lasts for 6 years, so at 30, I would have the freedom to leave the civil service, if I have not "made it" within the 6 years.] And even if I don't get married, when I'm 30, I will have to at least be a rich spinster, rather than a pathetic miserable one who's still living off her parents. So yes, money would be very important to me. Sigh. I don't have much savings right now. I think I should shop less. * * * I also think I'm falling ill. Food poisoning is of course not contagious. And my mom is fine now. But I still feel like I'm not. First of all, I feel cold right now. In dear old singapore. I feel cold. Not the shivering type, but a feeling that my body is cooler than the surrounding air. That my body is "chilled". Does anyone ever feel that way? Or I might just be very tired. Eversince my mom got well, she's channelled all her energy into cleaning the house. With me, of course. After lying in bed for two days, of course she's full of energy. Our house is sparkling clean now. She asked me just now if I was tired, I replied, "Aren't you?" She said yes, but she continued cleaning anyway. My god. I need her to take pity on me, I feel weaker than she is. * * * And I'm also thinking, why the heck hasn't my attachment started yet! Grr. | |