| 1600h
Feeling... sticky and hot Happiness of the day: having bak ku teh mommy-style later for dinner... Event of the week: perhaps a class gathering at my house the coming weekend? I'm feeling terribly restless right now. I want to go out. Yet I don't. I want to do my work. Yet I don't. Argh... On one hand, I want to go out, because I know that once my attachment starts, it'll be getting even harder to go out with my friends. Yet, on the other hand, I find it so difficult to go out, because everyone else seems so busy, I don't really want to like beg them to go out with me. I feel like going out on my own, but on the other hand, I feel so lost here in Singapore, I don't know where I can go anymore. I'll feel so uncomfortable and foreign. There's also this question of who to call who. I really don't have anyone's number with me, so I can't call anyone. Of the people whose numbers I remember, half of them are not in Singapore, and the other half, I don't want to call them so much till they get sick of my voice. Haha....I've always had a problem with calling people anyway. Always rather wait for them to call me. Man, I deserve to sit at home and stare at the phone, I guess. Argh, I'm so so so bored!!!! I've watched enough TV to remember the sequence of the advertisements...yes, I can tell you that the advertisement for this XXX drama comes after this advertisement for this YYY variety show. Hahhaa... I think the root of all discontentment right now, is how uncomfortable I feel right now. With being in Singapore. Even at home. Even in my room. I still feel like I'm just in transit....my clothes are still in my suitcase, because my wardrobe has been turned into a dumping ground of unwanted clothes, and I'll have to clear it before I can put my own clothes in. My laptop has not been configured yet, so I can't access the internet with it. My family members all go out in the day, to do their own stuff, and I'm the only one home. Do you know how it feels like...like my days are purposeless, like the world works just like before with or without me. Like people don't need me to be around. I guess, of course they don't need me. After all, they've lived without me the past one year. Argh...a unimportant presence. Argh. Time for me to go find a purpose for my time. Time to work on my plans. To redeem my life, and stop sitting around staring at the phone. | |