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Mood: hungry [as always...hmm...] Happiness of the day: I actually went to the gym.... Event of the week: SSA AGM this coming saturday.
It's been a really relaxed weekend so far. I don't have any exams coming up this week at all [yippeeee..], so it feels really weird, to know that even though I have so much time on my hands, I don't have anything to do. Of course, there's still that dreaded TAM homework [Theoretical Applied Mechanics...doesn't it sound disgusting??] But ignoring it, pushing it to the back of my mind, the way I do to all ugly things, I'm a free little bird! Hahah....
Just now, I took a hot hot shower. I still remember the times, when I used to cry in the shower. It was always quite therapeutic. Hot tears, hot steam, hot water....you can't tell the difference, and it really helps. allowing myself to let go of everything, to let all emotions flow out, in the form of tears, and letting everything flow away, seems to have a cleansing effect, on the mind. That's why I like taking hot showers when I'm sad. After a bawling session in the shower, while I do not necessarily feel happier when I come out, at least I didn't have to add to my sadness by keeping it all inside of myself.
But the shower just now was different. I don't know what made me choose hot water, but I did. Hot water, on my hair and shoulders, flowing down my neck, my back, my legs. I could feel every little stream, every tingle on my skin. I turned the water volume up, and it felt almost like a massage. Strangely, I didn't feel happy in the shower. I just felt really calm, contented, and at peace. It was wonderful. I guess it tells of how my life seems right now. I'm at peace. With myself, and everything else.
Of course there're still many things I'm not happy about, but they're not worth being upset over, I decided. Maybe because they're so out of my control? Maybe because ultimately it's just too draggy hanging on.
I feel really clean right now. Clean in my heart, in my mind. So many a times, I tell of how my mind clears up? Now, not only is mind cleared up. My heart too. Cleared of all unnecessary mess. So I can have more room for new things, new people, better stuff. I'm so proud of myself.
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