| 0200h (240201)
Mood: uneasy Happiness of the day: it's friday Event of the week: going to addy's place for dinner tomorrow. I've been walking around, with this perpetual frown on my brows, for the past few days. My friends have asked me why I look so tired. Whether I'm stressed up. Why I sleep all the time. You know, I don't know either. There's just something bugging me, and it's irritating me, but I don't really know what it is.
I'm falling asleep in every single class, but not in my own bed. I get these mysterious cuts on my hands, that irritate more than they actually hurt. I have so much work to do, but I refuse to do them, even when I have the time. Like last night, I had this engineering problem set due today. I looked through it, it's relatively simple, I should have been able to finish it on my own. But I didn't. I read a book. I went to sleep. Then I woke up this morning to copy Alvin's homework. I should feel so ashamed of myself, but I don't feel anything. Except uneasiness as to why I don't feel anything.
Oh, but the book I was reading was Harry Potter. I thought it was pretty fun actually, and yet it had its sensitive moments that I thought were just light enough for children, yet delicate enough to touch me. [Aha, like it takes that much to touch me.] Especially the parts about Harry Potter's parents. I think I'm homesick, I actually tear-ed a little reading some part of it.
Called home this morning, my elder brother's actually home. He's going to Europe in a week's time though, so it's a really short stay this time. My mom told me about them going out for dinner, with both my brothers' girlfriends, and as usual asked me if I will bring a boyfriend home the next time round. Sigh. Put in perspective, I'm not even 21 yet, why the hell is she so worried for me? Weird. And she's the one who warned me not to get a boyfriend just about 3 or 4 years ago. Fickle minded mothers who think that boyfriends can be picked up right off the streets.
See, I think and talk about such frivolous things, when I have lots of work waiting for me. Exams to study for. A laptop to fix. Dirty laundry to do. Mails to reply to. So many things that I should have done a few days ago, but I've let them accumulate, only because I didn't feel like doing anything. And I still don't. I should go and sleep now, but I already took a nap in the afternoon.
Something is wrong. I feel it in my bones. Sigh. And don't tell me it's my hormones. It is not. bleah.
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