| 1020h
Mood: stressed up Fact of the day: event of the week: two tests later today!
So many things happened over the weekend. The swing dancing thing was a flop, cos the music was bad. But, the mid-autumn festival celebrations on saturday was a huge success, which made me very proud of myself. I won't say I did most of the work, though I did put in a lot of efforts. There was screw ups towards the end of the event, but I don't care anymore. I think the event was a success, and I'm really grateful. I was so relieved, by the end of it, I was gonna start crying. Especially when my juniors who were also from hwachong started singing the hwachong songs to me. Trying to cheer me up, I think, I felt so touched I later had to pretend my eyes were painful, just to wipe my tears away.
Anyway, final conclusion, the event wasn't perfect, but I'm still very happy.
* * *
Maybe because I sleep more over the weekend as well, I also tended to have some very weird dreams. I say in advance, these dreams do not hold any reference to whatever sexual deprivation or fustraions or cravings or whatnots I have right now...
This dream was from Friday night, after I fell asleep at about 3am........it's the countryside, with lots and lots of yellow orange looking things on the fields. I'm assuming it's wet rice, cos I'm studying Asian History these days. Somehow, I am some very powerful leader in this town, and everyone was very scared of me. At the same time, I was so very lonely. So there were scenes when I went to the fields, and wanted to cry. [At this point of time, my conscious mind actually noticed that my nose was getting that tinkling feeling, as if I was really gonna start crying.] There were snap shots of people getting married in the town, the traditional chinese affair, with red cloth, sedans, trumpets and all. But I would stand at the side and just look. I think at some point of time, I wasn't the powerful leader anymore, more like the elusive intellectual that people don't like to talk to.
I don't quite remember how the rest of the dream went, but the red/orange/yellow theme was very strong in this dream, and sense of loneliness, alone-ness and despair was also very prominent. Such that I was really gonna start crying in my dreams.......
* * *
The second dream is weirder, and more kinky..hahahaha..
Maybe because one of my friends is having some scandalous dramatic affair now, my dreams also tend towards being more scandalous these days. In this dream, I was just walking from building to building, visiting my friends. I stay in this dorm that is freaking high, and I always take the elevator with weird people in the lift. Or maybe it's the other way round, as they see me as the weird one, I don't know.
Anyway, travelling from building to building, I was with this guy friend of mine. At certain points of time, I get irritated with him, at certain points of time, I felt this loving feeling for him. Almost as if we're a couple. But, we're not [not even in the dreams], this I'm very sure, because I think even his reason for being with me this whole time was to look for his girlfriend.
Then, one time, I realised I forgot to bring something, so I had to go back to my dorm. There, when I opened my door, I saw this other guy friend of mine, who was wearing this T-shirt that my roommate has, and nothing at the bottom. I was totally freaked out at first, then after that I started laughing, because he immediately sat down and took up this very nice sitting position to cover up his *ahem* private parts and I noticed that he's got very nice legs, which was totally surreal. He tried to explain himself, but I just brushed him off and said, "I'll be gone soon. Whatever you people do, is none of my business." Well, this part is scandalous because my roommate and him aren't a couple either. In fact, they were even supposed to be at loggerheads with each other. Hahaha..
Anyway, so after that I took the long long elevator ride down, the guy friend I was with, was still there waiting for me. I looked at him, the loving feeling came to me, and I gave him this light peck on the lips, as I walked past him. He was totally shocked, pulled me into his embrace, and after a while, said, "What was that?" I broke away and started walking away. Sort of a little smug and cocky, Hahaha...He came after me, held me closely, and we walked side by side. He told me that he's already got a girlfriend, and he's actually having problems now with his girlfriend, because he likes this other girl now [who's not me, by the way]. So he's very confused, and is sort of blaming me for confusing him by kissing him.
I stopped right there, turned around, gave him another kiss, and said, "Well, it's just a kiss, no big deal."
Then I don't remember what happened after that. Hmm...this dream worries me. First of all, it's not that weird [which is completely not my style, if you notice]. Secondly, my lack of morals seem to be main theme, which is not a good thing. Previously, when I have dreams about having sex, murder or whatever, though the activity is wrong, the theme is always something else that's more encouraging, such as love, loyalty, blah blah blah. But this one, the point of me being such a totally amoral person was so strong, I'm amazed. My subconscious is definitely trying to say something.......
By the way, I say I'm amoral, not immoral....
| |