| 1630h
Mood: guilty Fact of the day: When the first bomb was dropped in Berlin during WWI, it killed the only elephant in the Berlin zoo. event of the week: school. yippee.
I actually did type out one entry last week, apologising about neglecting this journal. But basically the computer screwed up and I didn't bother to retype the whole damn thing. And that was one week ago. The last entry I put up was 2 weeks ago. I think. I don't know, cos I didn't bother to keep track. I sort of just gave up on this website.
A lot of horrible things happened to me during this past week. Nothing really that bad or criminal, so don't worry. But enough to totally demoralise me, and caused me to retreat into my little world again. Such as a painful hand injury, defective car, stupid mistakes that I shouldn't have made, overwhelming workload, miserable living conditions, pathetic financial status [as usual] and so on. By themselves, they are nothing, but together, they destroyed the balance I had... I felt so sorry for myself, I didn't know what to do.
It's got nothing to do with guys though, surprise surprise. I just had too many things that I needed to do, and I felt so overwhelmed and at the same time so inadequate, I almost killed off all my self-esteem and confidence. That's all.
So what have I been doing for the past week? Hmm..actually, I don't know. Taking things as they come along I guess. Tackling all the problems one by one, and I guess it really helps. Now I feel so much better, much more in control. Funny, I just watched one episode of Daria today, and I just realised how intelligent this show is:
[Daria]: I thought I had everything under control.
Yeah, this is basically how I felt the whole 2 weeks. Oh well..now I know better. Life sucks, but it's ok, cos it sucks for everyone else too. Haha.
Anyway, maybe I'll provide more details tomorrow. I promise to update tomorrow. I really feel much better now. I'm sure I'll only feel better tomorrow and not worse. I won't want to start crying myself to sleep again.
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