| 1320hr
Mood: excited Fact of the day: event of the week Leaving for London on tomorrow!
I can't believe I'm leaving for London tomorrow. In less than 24 hours. Wow....and in less than a month's time, I'll be back in Singapore. Wow...I'm feeling sort of maladjusted and nervous right now....
It seems so strange, like I'm leaving my comfort zone again, and going out to explore somewhere totally new. Yet, I'll be with old friends [Po Chin and Ming, so it feels almost like I'm going back to something old. Does that sound weird? It's a whole mixture of not knowing what to expect, yet at the same time looking forward to being in familar company. Then after the Europe trip, I'll be going back to Singapore. On one hand, I'm looking forward to being home, being with my favourite people in the world, and let down my guard. But at the same time, I'm scared of what I may find at home - changes in the places/buildings, changes in the people, changes in myself that I didn't realise. I know that things will not remain static, but somehow I feel like if they change too much, then I'm not actually going home after all. Like the home that consitutes my "homesickness" actually belongs to a time frame one year ago.
I feel so nervous. So excited. So confused. I know that I want to leave this place, cos one year is too long a time to stay in a place like Urbana Champaign. But I'm worried that my expectations are too high and I'll be disappointed with being home. On the other hand, if I'm very happy at home, then I'm worried about being depressed again when I need to leave again in August. Man, I'm such a weirdo.
Argh, everything is happeneing too quickly. I need more time. Or maybe I don't. What I need is to believe that I'm leaving tomorrow. Less than 24 hours...So soon...
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