| 1530hr
Mood: slightly depressed Fact of the day: event of the week Spring break is coming!
I just barely survived last night. I had so much work to do, I didn't where to start. Actually come to think of it, I didn't exactly survive. I got to tired staying up the whole night, I took a short nap that turned out to be not-very-short and I missed my french class. All the better - I didn't manage to finish my french homework.
Sigh. I'm just so freaking tired now.
Though I'm physically so tired, I still cannot stop myself from thinking about this question: am I a good friend? I used to think so, but now I'm not sure anymore. I try my best to be there for the friends I care for, I try to offer sound advice when they ask for it, I hug them when they need one, I basically tried to be their mother. I realised I'm not a good friend afterall.
I am in fact, a doting mother figure. Overly doting, apparently. What should I do when I know that other people are condemning my friend for faults that I know he has? Should I defend him, even though I can understand why my other friends have been irritated by him? Should I reflect what they say to him, so that he can change? I don't know...so these days, I just keep quiet.
But obviously keeping quiet is not enough...last night, I was accused of tolerating him to the extent of harming him. Omigod...that was the worst thing anyone's ever said to me. I was actually harming him? Omigod..
But I thought friends are supposed to stand by each other, even their faults. I thought I was supposed to accept my friends as the way they are, if I expect them to do the same for me. Who am I to insist that my ways are right, and advise my friend to change? Perhaps he is right, that we shouldn't care too much about what others say. Perhaps there's nothing wrong with his personality, only except he refused to reform to what other people say is proper. Is that really that bad?
Sometimes, I cannot tell either. I don't know..I'm totally incoherent now. Am I being a bad friend when I allow my friends to continue to make the same mistakes? I didn't use to think so..but now I realize I've been making all the wrong decisions all this time...sigh..I suck..
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