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Mood: rather tired Fact of the day: none event of the week chinese new year dinner this saturday It's ridiculous.
I missed one whole day of class today. I will not try to find excuses for myself, I'm pretty ashamed of myself, but in a way, I'm glad I didn't go for my classes.
I didn't sleep well last night at all, due to my aching arms. Ok, it's a long story, but basic thing is that I have some problem with my arms, where my bone is pressing against my nerve or something, causing a dull but severe ache in my arms. It's an old ailment, has not come back to me for the past 3 years at least, yet now it's come back to haunt me again. I'm thinking it's probably because of the cold climate. But anyway, this is not the point.
The point is, because of my arms that hurt so bad I had temptations to just chop them off last night, I didn't sleep well. So I didn't wake up in time for my first 2 classes this morning. Demoralised, I decided to skip my 3rd class too to catch up on my work in my room instead.
It's just so weird, hearing doors open and close down my hallway, knowing that everyone else is going for classes and I'm not. I feel like I'm a bum, yet I was doing work, so I shouldn't be. It's just weird.
I needed the break anyway, I say to myself. Which is not entirely wrong...hehehe...it's just hard to shake off this guilty conscience thing...I've been a good student for almost all my academic life. It's not like I've not skipped classes in the past, but I don't actually choose to skip the regular classes in the middle of the week just like that. My mom will probably ask why I'm home, my classmates will be wondering why I'm not in school and so on. But here in uiuc, there's no mom to notice that I'm home, and I don't really have regular classmates that I see all the time. No one to justify my actions to, no need to be accountable all the time.
It's so clich� to say this only now..but the independence has brought me new degrees of freedom. And I'm not really used to it. Not to say I don't enjoy it of course. I totally enjoyed sleeping in today.....
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