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Mood: happy happy Fact of the day: The word orange is derived from the Persian auranja. event of the week chinese new year dinner this saturday I went to church this morning, all dressed up and excited, because one of my friends will be water-baptised today. Though I've gone to church a few time since last semester, I'm not a Christian. But I do enjoy going to church sometimes, to see my friends there, to feel the faith saturated in the air and to witness the people's joyous celebration of their love for God for the week.
As much as I believe I won't actually convert to Christianity, sometimes I do envy the believers. They put all their trust in a supreme being they call Lord and rest in confidence that all will turn out fine in the end and they will all go to heaven. They are never lonely, because they know God is always with them. They are never afraid, because they know God is always right beside them.
I guess of course this is the most idealistic situation. I find it hard to believe that all Christians have complete faith in their Lord, but it is still true that most of the Christians that I've met so far are overflowing with self-assurance and a sense of security.
I am so jealous.
Here I am, battling loneliness, trying to keep my self-esteem intact and agonising over life and death issues, and the christians always have the answer: God has a plan for us.
Sheesh...I don't know...I find this deeply disturbing...this either means that they're very right or that they're very wrong. If they're right, I'm going to hell, because I'm not Christian. If they're wrong, then thousands of people are also wrong and it is just scary to think that so many people can be deceived for so many years.
Anyway, before I start rambling on and on and inspire too many hate mails, I believe this topic is a little too divine and too profound for my puny mind at 9 at night. I have so much work to do, so many emails to reply...but I'm just procrastinating. ahem.
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