I skipped my dinner today again. For some abstract reason, I've decided to sabotage myself, by upsetting the equilibrium in my life again. For the past 2 days, I take long unnecessary naps in the afternoon and it is making me feel very uncomfortable. My perception of relative time is all screwed up now because of that.

When I wake up from my afternoon naps in the evening, and the sky is dark, I wonder if it is time to wake up for my class. And it takes quite a while to remember that it is evening rather than morning. Everything just doesn't seem real anymore.

This afternoon, when I woke up, I consciously remembered having an ICQ conversation with a friend on my laptop. Then suddenly, I really woke up, as I realised that friend of mine doesn't even have ICQ.

Why am I doing this to myself? I'm not sure. What I know is I do wake up in the middle of my nap, in time to go for dinner, but I dreaded getting out of bed. So I usually just force myself to just go back to sleep.

Because I didn't want to have to make a conscious decision to avoid him during dinner hours.

Escapism. Yes, I know I am pretty pathetic.

But I hope this is only transitional...I cannot afford to take anymore afternoon naps like that. My final exams are coming.